a letter to the one I lost
I have this immense feeling of unrest inside of me. A gaping hole that comfort and joy used to fill. When you left you took those emotions with you and I have no idea how to get them back, I don't know if I even can. It's been 8 months since I last looked into those eyes that never failed to make my heart flutter. I try to bury all the pain and hurt in an iced over lake deep inside myself but the ice won't stop cracking and wispis of such undiluted traces of the storm that's under the surface keeps swirling around every inch of my body. Squeezing my heart ever time it blows past. Two days ago I cried the whole way walking to work, those tendrils of my longing for you became too much and I couldn't keep it inside anymore. I know this love of mine is futile now and what we had can never be again because I would be too terrified of letting someone in again even if that someone is you. You broke something in me that I don't know if it can ever be fixed.
Comments (5)
when you think about them now, is it the person you miss or the version of yourself you felt like when you were with them?
i think it's a little of both for me
i was in that place, i stopped trying to “bury” it. i just let the waves hit when he came. it didn’t make it vanish but it made the pressure a little less violent. you don’t have to be okay right now.
❤️🩹💐🫂
I feel you. I'm trying to move forward, but it feels like two steps forward and one step back. as much as you may try to run from grief, it always catches up to you. your progression in healing is not linear. you are doing amazing and I'm proud of you. you should be kind to yourself and let yourself feel as sad about it is as you need to.
i felt that same hollow, like someone scooped out the center of me when my ex walked away. i tried to freeze it too, pretend the storm wasn’t there. it leaked out anyway. i remember crying in public and not even caring because it was either that or explode. you’re not crazy for still feeling it eight months later. heartbreak has its own timeline.