So we were completely no-contact for 16 days after he broke up with me. Of course it was hard but I was actually doing pretty well, hanging with my friends, doing sports, taking care of myself... We crossed path twice (it is not huge, we are living in the same building) and just say a quick hello to each other.
I sent a really simple text asking for my stuff still in his flat last Friday, because I knew he was leaving for two weeks in another country and I really wanted to get over it, move on during this time, and gathering all of my stuffs beforehand seemed a good idea.
Well when I enter his flat, where we were almost living together, I discovered that nothing had changed. All of our pictures were still on the wall (there were a lot), except the one just in front on his desk where he is working. The plush I offered to him was on his bed (I just entered his room to fetch my stuffs). And then something even weirder happened : we were long distance before moving in together (like on two different continents) and when we were appart I had his favourite hoodie and he was always wearing one of my hair ties on his wrist. We kept it this way when we moved in just because we liked that. And when I saw the hair tie on his bedside table, I mechanically took it back. He saw it and made a sad face, so I asked if he wanted to keep it, handing it to him, and he answered yes and put it on his wrist again.
And it is such a mixed signal for me, he ended things two weeks ago and now he wants to keep everything, even this hair tie which is maybe the most I Tomates item because it goes back to the beginning of our relationship at the time where things were ... well simpler and harder at the same time because of the distance.
I was at peace with the decision but know I am questioning everything : is he regretting it? Or does the male's mind is really so different from woman's one aha?
He also ask for us to go take a coffee upon his return, mumbling that he was bot even sure it was a good idea and that he would understand if I wanted to refuse.
Sorry for the super long message, especially because my English is for from perfect, but I am really curious about what aome of you think...
Last updated on:2025-11-18T23:36:05+05:30
Comments (9)
do you feel like seeing all those things in his flat pulled you back emotionally, or did it just make you wonder about his intentions?
I think just wonder? But also have this tiny bit of hope even if I am fully aware that he won't be able to offer me the type of relationship I want. So a bit of both I guess, but it is not painful. I am just lost because he showed so much certainty during the break up and three weeks later I am discovering that he is still living in the middle of what made "us".
when stuff feels this messy, i usually remind myself to judge him by his actions, not the nostalgia. people can miss the comfort and still not want the relationship. just go slow and protect your heart a bit.
You're so right
i went through something so similar where my ex kept all our pics up and even kept wearing the bracelet i gave him. those little “signals” messed with my head so bad. it’s confusing because it feels like they’re holding on while also pushing you away. you’re not crazy for reading into it. mixed signals HURT.
we don't realise sometimes something happens for a reason, reason we dont think. I broke up almost this time last yrs but we spoke here and thr. he came over twice after the split, but felt unsure as I was left disturbed.i blocked him in August. he called to tell me to unblock i did for 24hrs then blocked him. his fault was his previous GF was always lingering on and he wasn't letting her go and wanted to continue with me like im crazy to complain so I decided to split. I blocked him today. I didn't feel happy or comfortable. so I guess what ever happens for a good reason
Who was the one that initiated the breakup? Was it mutual?
He did
@JoyGiver107 He did and I really tried to change his mind, arguing that we did not even tried to do things differently. And that there were a lot of bad things going on for us in our personnal and work life and that it was not the time to take this kind of decision