7 months ago I met a wonderful woman while she was on business earlier in the year. I was out doing my hobby and we hit it off and well...we ended up spending 3 unplanned days straight. I should never have reached out again but things progressed long distance. We have such great connection. We went talking endless hours. 10-15 a week, months at a time. She told me no labels and I was okay because I was just enjoying the connection, at first.
Soon, We had virtual dates. She was recently out of a marriage abd has two kids but it did not bother me as im in my 30s. But, I know lightening when it happens. Ive learned that.
She told me one day. someday, and shared her life with me. A future. How her friends managed long distance. I finally set up a flight so i could visit. She told me she was excited. Then when the week arrived she backed out telling me it was too much pressure. I was just deflated. She said I wish you were my boyfriend then said i was entertainment.
I shared my whole heart. I developed a deep emotional connection and it felt like love. I know she felt it too. When i told her how i truely felt...She discarded and said she couldnt accept my feelings...that i dont know what love is and i should go sleep with other women...i felt numb. That was the first time in my life I felt that.
The next day she called me amd we talked for a couple hours but she never brought up that convo. I was numb still. That night I told her I needed space. She asked if we were breaking up. I wrote her a letter goodbye telling her I dont want to be a someday maybe guy. Before that I asked her to call me so we could talk...silence...left on read..so I broke it off for my own wellbeing.
I feel like I was used a bit but she definitely knew what we had was rare. It broke me in two to end it. Ive never felt that way before. I never have gotten so carried away. Maybe I should have been more patient idk.
I never cried so hard in my life except when my mother was hospitalized.
it kills me because I told her I dont have a lot of relationship experience but I do dating experience.
Will she want to reconsider? Knowing I want more commitment.
I always want to call her. But I know I cant.
Has anyone gone through something like this?
I feel like an idiot but I still have strong feelings for her. Its insane.
Last updated on:2025-11-20T00:01:43+05:30
Comments (6)
before she backed out of the trip, did she ever actually say she was ready for something real, or was it always in that vague “someday” space? sometimes the difference between words and patterns tells you everything.
Thanks for commenting. I asked for a future date instead. She said I dont know. I asked So next month January or February. Just I dont know when. I just dropped it at that point.
whenever i get attached like that, distance is the only thing that stops me from spiraling. not forever, just enough time where i don’t feel the urge to text every five minutes. it helps me remember what’s real and what i made up in my head because of the connection high.
Thank you.
i had a long distance thing like this where we talked HOURS every week, shared futures, said all these almost-relationship things… then the second i showed real feelings, he panicked, called me “too intense,” and acted like everything he said didn’t mean anything. that numbness you mentioned, yeah… i remember sitting on my floor feeling like my whole body shut down. it’s wild how someone can make you feel seen one minute and disposable the next. you’re not crazy for feeling broken by this. i would’ve been too
Thank you.