It’s a breakup from my end, but I’m still unable to block him. He hasn’t texted me since yesterday, though I know he’ll try again any day. He keeps saying he wants to be with me, love me, even marry me, but his behavior is always confusing. We already broke up once when he crossed all boundaries because of his toxic traits. I gave him a second chance, but the passive-aggressive taunts, lies, and him expecting me to “adapt” to it never stopped. On one hand he asks me to marry him, on the other he says he’s not attracted to me.
I’ve also become rude and lash out now, even though what I want deep down is to love and be loved. But his taunts and confusing statements make me pull back and snap at him. I have severe trust issues now because he broke my trust so many times before. And instead of acknowledging that, he blames everything on me and says the relationship failed because of me.
I finally decided to leave because of the constant emotional turmoil and confusion, and because I genuinely can’t trust him anymore. But when he calls or spams me, I still feel bad for him. I’m stuck wondering whether this is love or just codependency. It’s a painful equation, and he’s strong-headed with strange anger issues, and now even I’ve turned aggressive, which I never was before.
Last updated on:2025-11-24T18:28:03+05:30
Comments (9)
can i ask… when you picture a future with him, the day to day, does it actually feel peaceful to you? or does it feel like more of this same cycle and you’re just trying to survive it?
when i was stuck like this, the only thing that helped was giving myself distance, even tiny bits at a time. like not blocking, but muting. not engaging. i needed space to remember what i felt without their voice in my ear. it wasn’t easy, but it stopped the constant emotional whiplash.
i had a guy who would say “let’s get married” then in the SAME breath tell me i wasn’t enough or that i needed to “adjust” for him. the push and pull messed with my head so bad that i started snapping too. it’s wild how someone can turn you into a version of yourself you don’t even recognize. i’m really sorry you’re in that awful in-between space… it’s a mindf*ck
It really is 😞
just leave
know your worth because I basically went through the same thing and honestly he'll come back when it's convenient for him and leave when it's not
love is supposed to be a safe space don't change or make yourself bitter for someone mistakes
He never leaves me only, he wants to marry for now and yes it isn't a safe space for me but I'm so unable to leave I don't know how to unlove him. He's caring and loving but he constantly hurts me also and never understands anything, I asked him to take therapy, he did but it seems nothing really changed in him, just his tone got softer but hai mindset still the same.
@FrostBuzz188 learn to live with the feelings
Sounds like he doesn’t bring the best out in you and he does not have the capacity to love you how you deserve to be loved with consistency. Recognize the pattern and tell your heart what the real narrative is. We tend to place our ex in the spot of what we’re longing and we have a fantasy of the type of man we want but the ex usually isn’t the solution. we have to have self love and be honest with the reality of the situation and just because love is involved doesn’t mean everyone’s love capacity is the same and Iove doesn’t force each persons capacity to be consistent, non avoidant, accountable, not to run from hard situations the same. wishing you the best!
Thank you for this I'll try to see things clearly, it's just if he was completely a bad guy I would have left him so easily but it's his good side that I get to see sometimes, that makes me stay,bI keep hoping he'll change someday.but nothing really changed. Main issue is his mindset, his own traumas and anger issues that he punished me for. I wish I leave him for the better soon.