i could slap myself for doing this to myself over and over again He called late last night and I picked up like it was a dream I only realized afterwards it wasn't he told me he just wanted to say thank you for everything I did for him we spoke awhile and not long after he showed up at my house. he ended up staying over the morning we said our awkward goodbye and I don't know what I feel used? calmly ok because I missed him ? regret that I can't say no to him. whats wrong with me!!!
Last updated on:2025-11-28T12:41:02+05:30
Comments (22)
when he showed up, did it feel like he wanted something from you, or more like you were craving the familiar? just trying to understand what part hurt the most for you.
it felt like he wanted something but in my heart I just thought his here for a reason maybe he wants to work on us. he told me he just wanted to hug me and feel better. I guess it meant something different to me
the thing that helped a bit was slowing down before reacting. like literally letting the phone ring for a minute and breathing so i could notice what i wanted, not what the moment was pulling me into. you’re not weak. you’re just human and missing someone who knew exactly how to get to you
I even saved his name on my contact list as ex so my brain can take it in every time he calls. I want to break the pattern of just giving in to him
I am sorry for this.
you will heal my dear.
this just feels like I'm back at step 1
@ladyT do you want to talk on telegram or Instagram?
@Mekdi I only have what's app
i did the same with my ex, he’d disappear for weeks then show up at 1am saying he “just wanted to talk” and i’d let him in like muscle memory. the mix of shame and relief afterward is insane. nothing’s wrong with you, it’s just that the comfort hits harder than the logic in those moments
I just feel so stupid why am I doing this to myself. should I block him should I get a new number I just want this circle to end. I hate that he knows he can do what ever he wants and il stil love him
why was the goodbye awkward?
because we both acted as if spending the night together was nothing. I waited for him to say something like" I want to try and do better "but when we woke up he said" it was nice living in a dream but we have to accept the reality that we not meant to be" and i just went quite and told him lets not complicate things lets just say good bye and stop cuddling.
so I guess it was a 1 night stand
@ladyT I think if you were in a relationship then it's not a one night stand. It's more like two people who knows each other finding comfort in that
@Satanslove and now we back to strangers again I keep thinking is this who he is or was. a guy that would use my emotions against me. and is he sleeping with other people. I keep replaying the night in my head it seems almost planned if I think about it or am I just reading into it to much
maybe I can't face the fact that I made a mistake and I'm to blame for opening that door
@ladyT I don't think you should blame yourself. I think a lot of us would have done exactly the same thing. It's hard to know what his feelings and intentions were but I think it seems unfair to use your vulnerability and show such disregard.
can I ask if this changes how you feel about any future interactions with him?
@Satanslove it changes my opinion of him alittle but I still love him I still wish he would show up and tell me his willing to change and work on us. at the moment I can't picture myself with anyone else and I hate that I accepted everything his done to me.
@ladyT I understand that feeling all to well. Personally I have to remind myself what 'mine' is doing vs what I'm feeling or wanting from him. Evidence vs fantasy & it makes me realise how much, I'm fantasizing vs who he really is
@Satanslove I get what you saying I understand it completely it's just so hard to let go now that we spent the night together it's even harder to fight myself from wanting to call him or messaging him and I know il only make a fool of myself because he will probably ignore me anyway 😔 💔
@ladyT you don't deserve that at all, and I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope for all of us who are heartbroken, that we can heal and love safely one day
@Satanslove thank you I hope we can heal quickly. I wish I had a guide to tell me what to do before I do it I just feel I can't trust myself anymore I'm hurting myself at this point 😪
@ladyT I can't relate. My only advice is sometimes remember to just pause. emotions don't always need instant reactions. I wish you all the best. Look after yourself and your heart
@Satanslove thank you and you to. you seem like a strong person so I hope you find your happiness soon