My ex and I had a complex situation going on and he basically tore down my self esteem and shredded it to bits. he constantly compared me to this girl and I eventually developed such crippling anxiety with her. I started going no contact with my ex a few weeks ago and for the past week ever since I finished uni, I've been having these nightmares about him and sometimes about her. two nights ago I had three nightmares about the both of them in one last and the whole of yesterday I was feeling down and depressed and it was the first time in a while that I actually cried. till this day I don't know what I did for me to treat me the way he did and disrespect me. he lied about what happened between us to everyone including my lecturers and classmates. yesterday after those 3 dreams and feeling the way I was he actually contacted me after a week but the email was just as nasty as he was saying how he is seeing someone else (the same girl I was dreaming about) and how he didn't want to message me because he didn't want to give me a chance to worm my way back into his life which I would never in a million years do because I don't want him in my life and he basically said how he threw all the gifts I gave him to the waste management and if I wanted it back I must contact them. there was way more but I didn't even read the complete email because my heart just sank again. I don't understand why he's still trying to hurt me when I'm just trying to heal from all the pain and damage he's caused in my life. the nightmares are still continuing and I don't know how to get rid of them. I just want him to stop holding so much of power over my life. If he's not affecting me during the day then he's haunting me at night
Last updated on:2025-11-28T01:36:01+05:30
Comments (6)
when he reached out, were you tempted to reply at all or was it just pure shock and anger? i’m just trying to understand how much space he still takes in your day to day.
I wanted my friend to respond to him at first because I didn't exactly want to get into it with him but after the second message came through I didn't want to respond at all. it was mostly just anger especially since the email he sent was so horribly mean
the only thing that’s ever helped me with that “he still has power over me” feeling is cutting off every doorway he can use to reach me. email, socials, everything. and when the nightmares hit, i remind myself it’s just my brain trying to process the stress i never got to release in real life. it passes. i promise it does.
he's blocked EVERYWHERE and yet he still finds creative ways to hurt me. I understand my brain is trying to process everything but I just want it to stop
i went through something so similar where my ex kept comparing me to one specific girl and it literally broke my brain. i used to dream about them too, like my mind wouldn’t let me escape even when i slept. it’s such a special kind of cruelty when someone hurts you AND then acts like you’re the one chasing them when you’re not. you’re not crazy for feeling haunted. i swear it took me months to stop reacting to his name.
how did you get through it and stop the nightmares? I feel like Im drowning every time I sleep