So i saw him for the first time out at a bar on sunday. At first i was shocked and didn’t know what to do, but i ended up talking to him. This was the first time he took genuine accountability for his actions and acknowledged that those actions caused my reactions and caused the change he was seeing. He started crying when he started talking about realizing how much he had hurt me. We also just talked like two old friends reconnecting with so much laughter and i didn’t realized how much i have missed him until in that moment. He also asked about starting over and i said no, because i don’t know if i can trust him and i wanted to do what was best for me. However, here i am 3 days later missing him like crazy and feeling like i made a mistake when i said no to him. I just wish i still had my friend and i miss his comfort so much right now. I haven’t spoken to him since sunday and I don’t know if i should extend the olive branch and reach out to establish some sort of friendship or just leave it. I just don’t know what to do.
Last updated on:2025-11-27T23:37:02+05:30
Comments (6)
when you talked to him on sunday, did it feel like he wanted a friendship or did it feel like he wanted a way back in?
friendships with exes only work if both people are actually healed, not just sad. you don’t need to decide right this second.
every time i’m stuck like this, i give it a few more days. the urge to fix things or reach out feels HUGE right after a moment like that, but it usually settles once the emotions calm down.
my ex did that whole “crying accountability nostalgia” thing the first time we bumped into each other too. it messes with your head because it wakes up all the soft parts again. i remember missing the friend version of him way more than the boyfriend. you’re not crazy for feeling pulled both ways.
Maybe a lot of people wont agree with me but I think that the thing he did - taking acocuntability and realizing his mistakes, is something that allows trying again. Especially if you two still love each other. Not trying to be friends though because it will just hurt you two more if there are some romantic emotions involved. But if you both realize your mistakes and are ready to fix them there is no reason to not try again
I agree. this and an action plan what each of you can do to make things better this time. to make sure it's worth trying.