It's been 17 days since we were in touch via email. Nearly 2 months since I saw him in person and things were great (in my view). A month since our last and worst fight (videocall). By now and after what feels like ages spent doing serious introspection and retrospection, I feel numb. The breakup (his doing) triggered my abandoned traumas and created visceral pain which destroyed me for what feels like ages. But I'm back up on my feet. Looking back at patterns of thought, behaviour and emotions, and these created the solid understanding the breakup was good because WE were not a good match. He's not mature enough for me, and he couldn't trust me. We are better off this way. I just feel nothing right now. Nothing at all.
Last updated on:2025-11-28T05:06:02+05:30
Comments (4)
when you say you feel nothing, is it like a peaceful nothing or more like “i’m too drained to feel”?
i know everything, like why i left him, why should i not get back, but im still in so much denial, im still w a hope that he will come back, i js cannot accept that its done, i dont know wn im js gonna get this idea out of my mind, its all i can think of every minute
that numb feeling usually hits me right after i stop fighting the reality of it. i try to not judge it. i just let it be there and go really slow for a bit. sometimes the mind understands the breakup before the heart catches up.
when my ex left, it was like every old abandonment wound cracked open again. i remember that numb phase too, like my body just shut down after crying for weeks. it’s wild how clarity shows up once the chaos settles. i’m glad you can see the mismatch now, even if it still feels empty.