Before we broke up, I made several mistakes that had hurt him because of my avoidant tendencies. Each time I came back to repair it and have since become better at communicating and is moving towards becoming more secure.
One time he said that he really wants to make it work so he'll stay. He'll run full speed ahead and if he hits a wall again he's done. He also mentioned that he didn't want to leave because it'd be tiring to date all over again. When we were looking at places to move in together, he suggest that we should find a place with rent that's below a certain price so that he could still afford it if I leave (I never expressed that I wanted to move out in any way). That rubbed me the wrong way, but I didn't bring it up with him. It seems to me that he wasn't in love anymore.
Is it wrong for me to feel that way? I just wanted to know because since the relationship ended, I'm trying to understand what happened and whether he had already checked out way before but didn't tell me.
Last updated on:2025-11-28T07:50:59+05:30
Comments (5)
when he said he’d “run full speed then he’s done,” did you feel a shift in him after that?
There was a shift and I felt this undercurrent of pressure whenever he tells me to do better in certain aspects. I understand that he's just communicating his needs, but the way he says it felt like the entire relationship hinges on me doing everything perfectly now. I didnt repeat the same mistakes as before, but I hurt him again some other way without realising and it caused the breakup.
when someone is halfway in like that, your body kinda knows before your brain does. you’re allowed to look back and say “yeah that hurt and it meant something.”
my ex used to say stuff like “i’m only here because starting over is exhausting” and i remember sitting there thinking… damn, so you’re not here because you want me. those little comments pile up and make you feel unloved. you’re not wrong for feeling that at all.
That's exactly my thought as well when he said that to me.