I've made it to day 22 and im still struggling now as much as I was on day 1! im still crying every day, still checking to see if there's another new girl again! we had been together for 2 years and there was 8 other women and 1 man throughout those 2 years so I have no idea why I was taking my ex back every single time. the relationship started to change me as a person, after all the abuse and betrayals I started to get angry and thats not me so thats when I knew I had to go no contact. for the 1st week my ex was still trying to contact me but they have stopped. normally if we had a break up they wouldn't stop trying to get me back and this time nothing. its so confusing and im constantly living in my head. I was very much trauma bonded to this person according to my therapist. I have had intensive therapy and am on a waiting list for EMDR therapy now due to my own traumas but I am hoping it can help me with this trauma too! I just wish I could switch off my feelings because after all the abuse, after all the betrayals, after all the false accusations and control I would still take them back in a heartbeat if they showed some change! this person has fully damaged me yet I still want them! what is wrong with me?