We were in a relationship where the feelings were real, but eventually things got complicated. We broke up mainly because things felt overwhelmed, disconnected, and unsure about continuing emotionally. He wanted space, freedom from the intensity, and time to focus on himself, especially with college stress, practicals, and the pressure he’s facing, he is a logicl person. I still care deeply as I'm a emotional person, and I want communication, closeness, and understanding, while he wants distance, logic, and control over his emotions. Now we’re in a confusing middle space still talking, sharing reels, checking each other’s lives which he doesn't do muchbut answer when i ask about his I’m trying to hold on gently without forcing him, and he’s trying not to get attached again because he is afraid of repeating pain AND he says he is not meant for all this. I was his first gf and relationship, and he said it's not like be got someone else but he lost his inner self in this and don't want any relationship or anything with anyone and that it's not my fault he is just done with it. We don’t hate each other we’re just two people still connected, but unsure, i want thingsback badly while he keep clearly telling me we can'tget back together and asking me to focus of studies and this love and all will not help. It’s a mix of caring, distance, and trying to balance heart and logic.
Last updated on:2025-12-03T12:46:11+05:30
Comments (10)
when he says he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone, does that make you feel stuck or more hopeful? how are you doing in all this, honestly?
Thank you for asking. Honestly, it makes me feel stuck more than hopeful. I care about him deeply, so staying connected keeps me holding on quietly, but hearing that he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone makes me feel like I’m waiting for something that might never happen. Also one if ny bug regret is that I was his 1st gf and i made his first relationship a bad experience for him most probably i feel so sorry and sad, I’m trying to balance understanding him and protecting myself, but it’s really confusing emotionally.
the mix of “still talking but not together” can drain you so fast. sometimes giving yourself real distance helps you hear your own heart again.
You’re right, it is draining. I didn’t realize how much until recently. The in-between space makes me hold onto little signs like they’re big things, and I think some distance might really help me hear myself again. Thank you for reminding me that stepping back is also caring for myself. But yk it's so hard i don't have any friend or anyone else other than him and now not even him, so ya it's hard to stop think about stuff.
i was the emotional one too while he lived in his head, always “logical.” we didn’t hate each other either, just completely mismatched in how we loved. it’s the kind of breakup that doesn’t blow up, it just slowly breaks you in quiet ways. i remember holding on to every tiny sign of connection like it meant something huge.
Your words hit really deeply because that’s exactly how it feels. We didn’t have a dramatic breakup either it’s like a quiet heartbreak that keeps happening in small moments. I relate to holding onto tiny signs of connection like they mean everything. It helps to know someone has been through something similar and understands. Thank you truly.
Honey, go no contact. Detach from him. I know it's easier said than done but I have been there. First I beg for him to be in relationship again, let'sfix everything yada yada. Secondly I agreed to be 'JUST FRIEND' with him. At least he's still around, right? And you know what's the end result? Emotionally exhaustion.
People won't realised your values when you're sticking around. They will ONLY realised when you are no longer in their life. And by that time perhaps you won't even want him back. This might hurts I know, but trust me. Because I have been there.
I really appreciate your honesty. I know deep down that staying so close is what’s keeping me stuck and hurting. I keep telling myself at least he’s still around, but I’m realizing that maybe that’s what’s exhausting me the most. Hearing your experience makes me rethink things, and I’m considering taking real space to let both of us breathe. Thank you for sharing something so personal.
this is hard. just breathe
Thank you. I needed that reminder. I’m trying to breathe and take things one step at a time.