We were together 2 years. To date he is the kindest gentlest person I've been in a relationship with. I love him so much and it still breaks my heart that we are not together.
We broke up because almost a year into the relationship he told me he had cc debt. He had mentioned not being well off before but had always had a consistent job so I thought he was just prioritizing his student loans over travel getting a car etc and I was fine with that.
When he told me he had cc debt he said it wasn't that bad and he had it under control and owuld take care of it as he was getting a huge raise.
He didn't get that raise. Six months later he ended things with me because he had no money for realtionship milestones (marriage kids. heck couldn't afford an engagement ring or one extra month of rent as a deposit if we wanted to move in together). It broke my heart.
A month later he got back and in touch and told me he was willing to do whatever it takees to make it work. But it had already created this association for me...between his financial stability and our relationship status. I told him the only way I could consider it was if we sat down and had a chat about finances.
At that point I realized our fincial oulooks were so different. I'm the child of immigrants very careful with money live within my means. He does not. Worse still he didn't even know his cc interest rate had no plan to get out of debt and was even okay with living with it for the rest of his life.
I tried to accpet that as part of him.... but I couldn t picture a future together. One were we raise a family. I want to get married have a talk about children relatively soon.
So I ended up breaking up with him.
I feel like the world's worst human. Becuse he was trying to get better. But unless I suggested something to him he wouldnt consider it do the work. And I dont know if I have what it takes to manage his finances for the rest of my life esp when his instinct is "debt isn't so bad everyone has it you shouldn't out your life on hold for it."
I edned things 6 months ago. I hate myself everyday. But while I was in the realtionship I was constantly panicking and anxious.
Last updated on:2025-12-04T23:17:02+05:30
Comments (3)
😢
Your peace is worth it. Trust me.
You are not. You are being responsible. If you still love him then maybe talk with him, but if you are just feeling guilty then you should stop cause if relationship stresses you out for the most of the time then what’s even a point?