We’ve been together for five months, and I’m really confused about whether I should break up with him or not. During this time, there have been many moments where I felt unheard or unvalued. For example, when he said something that really hurt me and I tried to calmly explain my feelings, he didn’t listen — he just started defending himself over and over instead of acknowledging my emotions.
He often(3 month and some situations even before)repeats behavior that upsets and hurts me even after I tell him it hurts. He shows care through physical touch sometimes, which makes me feel safe, but emotionally he doesn’t support me consistently. He rarely shows appreciation, doesn’t make small gestures of love, and usually changes only for a day or two after an argument.He only says that he is gonna change and lately he “realised” everything he did, but still no actions at all. (btw never got flowers)
I still feel attached to the warmth he sometimes gives me, but I also know I deserve someone who listens, respects my feelings, and makes me feel valued. I’m stuck between wanting to stay and knowing that leaving might be healthier for me. cause last days like it hurt so much my heart was breaking but no it’s a bit better but still can’t realise how can i be without his touch or presence…
Last updated on:2025-12-08T23:41:31+05:30
Comments (10)
when you imagine the next five months with him staying exactly the same, no real change, how does your body react. does it feel tight or calm.
i would say like not okay cause i feel hurt and not loved when smth like this happens with no care about my feelings and so on. but when i think about this i have no really feelings but thoughts like u deserve smth more..
what usually helps me is paying more attention to the patterns than the promises. like… what does his behavior look like on a random tuesday when you’re not crying or fighting. that’s usually the truth that helped me see what i needed.
he acts like “yeah everything is okay u are not crying cause of me, smth changed” even tho i was crying like before for few hours. so yeah as soon as im not talking he is not scared to loose me but as soon as he realise when i talked about it—he tells me everything like yeah rn i understood it ill be better( but nothing changes or like few days yes).
i stayed with someone for months because the warm moments felt so good and i kept hoping they’d become the norm. he’d do the whole “i get it now, i’ll change” thing, then give me like 48 hours of effort and slide right back into not listening. that confusion you’re feeling is real. it’s what happens when the comfort feels good but the emotional part keeps cutting you.
i fully understand u and cause of that want to leave. cause i want to be not the only one who cares with whole heart ❤️🩹
Oh lord, this so feel like my story.
He's never once in 17months given a gesture, not even a hand written note. He claims he's romantic but I'm yet to see it.
Every day is a battle for me shall I get back with him because I miss him, or shall I ride this wave with my broken heart to eventually get over him some how
I know I definitely deserve so much better than him and so do you. I think we can do this if we keep focused on the bigger picture that there's someone else out there for us.
i feel u with whole my heart. thank u! it will definitely get better in our situations❤️🩹
If you stay you’ll never find someone who will give you everything you want and more. The second you feel any doubt is the second you leave. It’s not even a decision if you have to ask, it’s over. I wish you the best of luck!
u are right, just this attachment is hurting me too much. thank u so much! i wish u all the best as well❤️