I don’t even know how to start this, but I need somewhere to put this pain because I can’t hold it anymore.
I was in love — real love. The kind where someone becomes your best friend, your safety, your person. He was that for me. We were long-distance, but somehow everything still felt close. We talked every day. We shared everything. He cared for me in a way no one ever did — the way he spoke to me, held me, listened to me, protected me.
I truly believed he was my future. 1 day before our break up he is saying i love you so much he is sleeping with me on call. he is saying am his person his soulmate. he gets jealous of any man next to me. he texts me calls me. only in 10 days he was distant a bit but hoenstly not even the kind of distance that is harsh. yet 10 days compared to a year and more feels like nothing he still said i love u called me everyday. we were both busy with work. he had work exams, a sister who neever liked me, ldr. it seems the pressure made him run.
i met his parents his friends he said to his sister he wants to marry me and she said so many negative lies about us telling him he doesnt love me blah blah. he broke up saying am not sure this is the right decision i dk if i will regret this. he cried. yet he still left he could not say the words to break up i had to say it. but yet he said it later.
At first he said things like “we always solve it,” and “you’re the most important person in my life.” He cried when we talked about possibly losing each other. He held me like he’d never let go. He used to say I was his, and he was mine. And I believed him.
Now it’s been around three weeks without contact.
And he hasn’t checked on me.
Not even once.
Meanwhile, I’m here — crying, shaking, remembering every moment. Remembering how he held me when I slept. How he woke me up with kisses. How safe I felt with him. How finally — finally — I felt loved and chosen.
And now everything feels ripped away.
I don’t know if he ever truly loved me, or if I was just comfort, timing, convenience — or some phase while he figured himself out. I keep wondering if he’s already moving on, happy, relieved, forgetting me… while I can barely eat or sleep.
Part of me wants him back. Part of me wants to scream at him.
Part of me wants someone to tell me he will regret letting me go.
And another part of me just wants this pain to stop.
I don’t know how to move on. I don’t know if I should wait, or forget, or hope, or hate him.
I just know I miss him. So much that it physically hurts.
in the first week i was crying non stop not eating then relieved now again am in pain crying.
i dk what to do. my brother says text him ask u will wait for him to fix his situation ( money..etc) because he was telling me (my ex) that if he had enough money he will bring me to live with him.
so much more but in summary this it.
Last updated on:2025-12-09T22:25:18+05:30
Comments (10)
do you feel like his sister’s pressure and his stress made him run, or do you think he’d been pulling away inside way before those 10 days? i’m just trying to understand how sudden it felt for you.
he said it doesn't if it wasnt him. but the last time when we had break it was also induced by his sister words. she asked him in our first months if relationship do u love her. he said i think so and then she said u dont love her and so many negative things.
honestly i went out with a coworker my manager to a park ever since then he acted distant a bit ( about 3 weeks or so from break up) but then we talked and then he told me about the girl at work ( ppl had rumors saying she broke with her ex because of my ex) she confessed she wants him and he rejected her. but honestly all of it he assured me and said he doesnt want to break up and rejected the girl and tried to talk to fix his jealousy and everything else he was getting distant but not so much like he used to always text me when he finish work immediately he texted me in an hour. then in 10 days i had enough of it and i was like what is this i am supposed to come to visit u enf of month. then he told me his sisters conversation ( ur different cultures ldr different religion.) he was even suprised at her and told her man i cant even go to the girl i love and u call it attachement? then i dk we called at some point he forced me to talk we both cried he said i dont want to break up but i feel i have to i cant leave u like this u deserve a man who is 100% sure about u.
the thing is before all this we were planning to move with eachother in 6 months, we even picking a country. he said every time i have no energy i see u and i get it and i feel i need to end this cycle.
so no i didnt know because when i felt numb because of depression or anxiety he reassured me. but he didnt let me assure him.
what usually helps me in moments like this is stopping the “what if he comes back” loop, even for a few minutes. it’s so heavy carrying both hope and pain at the same time. you don’t have to decide anything today. just let yourself feel what’s here.
how can i stop that?
Just take one day at a time. Keep moving forward. Work on yourself. If it was meant to be, then it will be. If not, then you will be better prepared for the next relationship that comes along. Remember, people come in to your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. ❤️🩹🫶
i thought i was getting better. untill yesterday and today. i got sick stayed home from work. today i am crying non stop. i cant stop thinking about him.
how he is confusing saying things like:
i dont know if i eill regret this.
i dont want to break up but i have to.
you will always be my first love
saying i love you too when i said i love u.
crying on our last call.
@GoodVibe855 I understand. It's been 7 months for me and it's been a real roller coaster of emotions. Some days are good. Others are not so good. Today was both in the same day. My therapist told me that when I think about him, I need to train my brain to think about something else. It will get better. We have to go through it one day at a time. ❤️🩹🫶
@Unhealed thanks
i am scared that after 7 month i still feel this pain.. please say its way way less
i went through something so similar with my long distance ex who treated me like his whole world right until the day he left. that whiplash… it messes with your head in a way nothing else does. i remember thinking “how can someone love me like that and still leave?” you’re not crazy for feeling this deeply. i felt every line of this.
does it get better?