I’m trying to understand my feelings, because even when I’m sick and barely have the energy to do anything, I still try to show care and be better for him. I still worry about him, I still check if he’s okay. But he didn’t even ask how I was feeling yesterday until late at night, and only after talking about how bad his day was. It hurts, because I needed support too.
And the whole situation makes me even more confused. He keeps apologizing, saying he’s “not good enough,” saying gifts aren’t his love language, or that he wanted to buy flowers but didn’t because he saw someone else already did. He gives reasons, excuses, guilt, but not actual attention. After five months, the first real gesture was his hoodie sprayed with perfume—and even that came with explanations about how he doesn’t know how to give gifts and how he feels bad.
I’m tired of feeling like I have to understand everything, support him through everything, and lower my needs so he doesn’t feel guilty. I’ve tried so hard to make things comfortable for him, to take care of him, even when I’m sick. But he still doesn’t really hear me, and he still doesn’t show the kind of care I’ve been waiting for. I’m hurting, and I feel alone in this.
Last updated on:2025-12-09T21:11:01+05:30
Comments (8)
i feel this 😢 can i ask… have you tried telling him exactly what you need, without the explanations and excuses in the mix?
yes i have already explained the whole situation to him and when i asked to not do smth it happened again for 3 months. or about support and asking— i told him that yesterday, today still no questions like “can i help u somehow or make u feel better / do u need smth”. even tho he told me he understood everything like week ago— only words and no changes.. :(
i’ve learned that when someone can’t meet your needs, it’s not about “not enough love,” it’s about them not showing up. it’s okay to take a step back and protect your energy
u are right, thank u❤️🩹
i spent months caring for someone, even sick, and barely got anything back. the constant guilt-tripping and excuses really hurt. you’re not crazy for wanting more.
thank u❤️🩹
You should always put yourself first. When they say, “You deserve better” or “I’m not good enough,” believe them and move on. The things you’re begging for now he would freely do for his “dream girl”.
u are right just hurts that he was the whole time telling me that he understood everything and won’t do that again, was telling me that im the best and his dream girl and he is trying, but i dont see anything.. any actions or at least asking me “do u need smth/ can i do smth to make u feel better” or even just call and be with me… nothing. and as well i see his reposts and so on that he is begging to not give up on us cause he is trying… but i dont see truly trying or making situation better or caring about me. like if u see im crying a lot or im extremely sick with fever 38 do smth bro, bring me snacks or flowers.. its not smth expensive cause i did it to him when i was just coming to his house:(