Day 56 nc...it's taking whatever in me not to contact him. I've never stopped seeing his tt recently(likes and reposts cause they're visible)today i just went deep down to the time when we were still together but still had those harsh fights and i realised how i truly missed out somethings. i didn't see how he used to feel through his online engagements when we fight. he was desperate to keep me. begging not to leave him(on his tt likes)even though he was acting tough with me..but he felt as though i didn't understand him(when i was hurting inside aswell) and i know i kept pushing him couple of times(because i get suffocated in those arguments i physically couldn't speak. my body hurts and wants a break but he couldn't give me that coz he was anxious and an overthinker and he assumed i would leave) and which he assumed he didn't matter to me no more. and i hate it i hate that i let it get to this point. we let it get to his point. we both loved eachother but not in the right way. i was broken but i was trying to change and not pull away in an argument but then he kept getting defensive and felt disrespected when i tried to put forward my frustration because all i used to do was kept quite. i don't know if i reopened my wounds. i probably did. but i want us now i want us better and i want us together...
Last updated on:2025-12-10T10:28:08+05:30
Comments (8)
i get the heartache… did looking back help you understand yourself more, or just make you miss him more?
i believe both but i miss him more now because, you realise how insignificant somethings were to keep fighting about.
day 56 is huge, don’t beat yourself up for thinking about him. sometimes reflecting is part of healing, just try not to spiral too deep into “what ifs.”
it's huge but it's so little at the same time. I still feel him and see him like yesterday. but i will try thank you.
i was on nc for months and kept replaying our fights too… realizing the love and the hurt at the same time is brutal.
yes it's very brutal. I just keep blaming my self for everything, even though ik not everything is my fault.
Hey, so remember:
What did he do to make you feel like this? Bc, you were si heartbroken that you PHYSICALLY couldn’t even give him the answer he wanted, so don’t forget how he made you feel.
And I know you are missing them, I miss mine too. He cheated, and after that I was just like you during arguments. And I know how badly we can regret, because we care so much about what they could feel during an argument, and we don’t want to make them sad. But, the fact is: If he didn’t broke you, you wouldn’t even be questioning yourself rn.
Don’t forget what they did to you. Don’t forget all the thoughts you had during that relationship. Don’t let your temporary feeling of missing them take control of your life and destroy your future.
But you know what, if you really can’t handle it, text them. Just know that, the end is 99% the same. But go back, until you can’t breath no more…This is the only way for us to get through this honey…
But I believe in you, and you should too!
Head up queen, we got this ❤️
thank you so much this means alot. the thing is we used to fight a lot but most of them aren't significant. i don't even remember most of them. i get upset easily and don't express my feelings openly as he wanted me too ig, and he's an overthinker. when we fight he used to beg me to talk but due to my freeze response to conflict i physically couldn't speak and words wont form in my mouth and my body hurts because of the long hours of non stop argument and when i wanted a break he takes is as a threat and he thinks i would leave and because of the exhaustion & things building up inside, i say one wrong thing he gets more upset. but after sometime i stopped saying or trying not to say we're not compatible or words that suggests breakup( i used say somethings
like that when the fights were heavy and i wanted a break from those fights)so trying to change but when i speak up he thinks I'm disrespecting him out of fear or I'm attacking him or the relationship which i used to think it was an attack aswell so finally he broke up with me coz he got a new job that takes 16 + hrs of work and he don't want to have those fights so here I'm.