hi! my relationship ended about a month and a half ago and i would say i'm healing well. the only thing that's been really eating at me lately is the realisation how ruined my mental state is after getting out
i've been talking to this guy i met like 2 weeks ago and thats when it dawned on me. i am so paranoid and afraid of being treated like a covenience, being manipulated, feeling unwanted and dependant on someone. i'm so scared of putting myself through that same emotional turmoil which would leave me feeling physically sick during my last relationship. it's horrible. i want to love and trust others, but when i consider the idea of potentially going through that again, pushing them away feels much safer. even though we get on well, i really enjoy talking to him, it still feels like i'm going to get hurt
i've always been heavy on the importance of communication. should i try to open up to him about it and look for help in a friend? he did tell me i can count on him but we never really vented to each other yet, so i feel unsure
what other things can i try to use to heal? has anyone been in a similar situation?
Last updated on:2025-12-13T10:15:04+05:30
Comments (3)
A therapist would really help you with trust issues. I am the same way. Make sure to not have a certain pattern in who you date, again a therapist can help you see what you may not see yet. In my experience it was about self confidence. Don’t stay with someone who is treating you the way you describe. But if you think you found a good one, let yourself be vulnerable. Two weeks may be too early to tell and have this deep conversation. For the moment work on yourself. Understand your triggers when you feel like they are not trustworthy. Is it them, or is it a trigger you have from childhood or a past relationship?
when you say you’re scared of being treated like a convenience again, was there something specific your ex used to do that really sticks with you? sometimes that one pattern tells a lot about what you’re protecting yourself from now.
when i left my last relationship i didn’t even realise how messed up my nervous system was until i tried talking to someone new. every tiny thing made me panic. i kept thinking i was just a backup or a convenience, because that’s exactly how my ex made me feel. it took me a while to understand that the fear was coming from the old hurt, not the new guy. you’re not crazy for feeling this. it’s what happens when you survive emotional chaos for too long