Yesterday he again started talking about wanting to kiss me passionately, and I told him — like I already said before — that I wasn’t really comfortable talking about that right now because things between us are very serious and complicated at the moment. Instead of understanding, he started acting offended. He stopped communicating with me properly just because he felt “hurt,” saying he felt unloved.
That immediately made me cry, because the way he responded felt cold and a bit rude. And when I started crying, he didn’t react with concern for how I felt. Instead he said:
“I’m tired. I’m tired of you crying and all this shit. God, just kill me…”
And that really hurt me, because it made me realize that he wasn’t upset about me being hurt — he was upset about the possibility of being abandoned. It felt like he cared more about his fear of losing me than about the fact that I was crying right in front of him. And it felt the same when we were talking and when i was crying about that he hurt me that much the whole time— he just listened and said sorry but as soon as i was too tired and talked about breakup and what would he do he started crying… funny how the person just cared about himself and his feelings and not about me even tho im sick and im really weak, he didn’t do anything. he didn’t come to me with fruits and didn’t ask if i had all medicines or i need smth/ help. he asked only after i asked him to ask that at least sometimes….
i’m so disappointed. struggling to leave cause still my emphathetic personality believes him crying and so on, but mature part of me understands that that whole thing is not okay..
Last updated on:2025-12-16T00:53:14+05:30
Comments (9)
when you imagine staying like this for another few months, how does your body react? tense, tired, heavy? or calmer at all?
just like nothing… it’s like tired and no surprise, exhausted
what helped me was paying attention to patterns, not apologies. the “sorry” meant nothing when the behavior stayed cold. my body knew before my heart caught up. that mismatch matters.
the crying, the sickness, and somehow it still turning into THEIR pain. i remember realizing they weren’t reacting to my hurt, just their fear of losing me. that realization shattered something in me.
I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME😭
No you're absolutely right, the way he reacted was not right and it is something to be concerned, talked and fixed if the relationship is meant to be continued. Both of you should be there for each other for reassurance.
thank u there is exactly there a problem, in short message: 3 month straight same conversation about hurting me with his actions, only words no actions or changes. no care when crying or whatever. some time ago i talked about last chance and about breakup if it would continue.he cried, he sweared but same actions without fear to hurt me and so on.i understand that the person can change only for some time cause of talk about breaking up but it wouldn’t be changes for always.. and here is situation from yesterday so yeah i was just really hurt cause i realised its not working at all, like im literally begging for care and simple questions if i need something or whatever
I understand both point of view being a sick person a being the person that felt pushed away and undesired in a relationship that was having troubles.
My love language is physical touch, can I assume it is the same with your BF? He feels more appreciated when you show him your love in ways he can feel physically. in kisses, in touches, hugs, simply being close.. When feeling rejected, there are ways to say things in a not cruel way also. and that's on him to work on if he wants to make this relationship work. Respect is everything.
I know I've said my wrongs after feeling rejected and regret it too.
All I'm saying is, love languages are different depending on the individual, relationships when in love should be worked on. A lack of respect should definitely be a major concern though, but I think maybe it's wise to be more open to the fact that he could have indeed been that hurt from feeling rejected.
i appreciate that u told me about that. yes i understand fully there are different love languages but if u have touches as love language dont u feel still the need to care about ur partner when he/she is in weaker position like crying or sick? because for me it’s just simple “care” about the person and nothing with love language. especially when ur partner is asking for it because it was never there. maybe i don’t understand something and care for someone is just about touches? let me know please