Relationship was intense. 26 September to 6 October we talked and in 2 days talked about dating. Then was the first time he backed off. Then 17 oct we talked again and made out on 20th. Then first argument on 24th, second on 27th(i said "when is this gonna end" And he shut down). Then third on 31st when he talked about ending. Then next on 4th November I said "your words don't match ur actions you say you'll change but u dont change" And on 7th night we sexted and on 8th we made out then fought again 2 days later he broke up with me.There was this cycle. He would give dry replies. He would stop being energetic. I would get scared and ask then he would say "I'm being normal" And then I would send those pictures to turn him on and then testing if he gives in. He knew my patterns. So he would always ask "are u sure? I don't want u to feel bad after this" Then I would tempt him even more to give in. Then after he gave in, I would feel used.We were always on 2 extremes. Either extremely freaky or talking about leaving. I didn't let him have friends, talk to anyone in school except me, talk to me 24/7, keep being affectionate, keep being freaky. after breakup we talked a little(I begged for closure) Then he got to know that I told his sister about his smoking habits and he blocked me. Said "I don't want to talk anymore" I begged him from 3 numbers nd he said "you didn't even think about me" he was mad at me. Then the same night I got a seizure. The next morning I texted him from a different number and told him "please listen to me out of humanity"and he said ok " Did u get some help? Talk to ur dad"Then I didn't respond to that. Then the next day he said "hey what happened" Then also I didn't respond. Then he came up. To me in school and asked "krisha thik ho?" I didn't respond again and got a panic attack. since then it's been 21 days of no contact. and he did tell me he is avoidant. I have bpd
Last updated on:2025-12-16T18:56:23+05:30
Comments (7)
when you look back at those extremes, do you notice patterns in what triggers your panic or urges to reach out? understanding that might help you ride the waves better.
was it my fault that it ended?
honestly, 21 days of no contact is HUGE for your healing. with BPD it’s brutal, but sticking to space helps your mind calm and start untangling the chaos of that cycle. you’re doing something really hard, and it counts.
my ex would go from super clingy to cold and distant in hours. that cycle of highs and lows wrecked me, i totally get the panic and the “used” feeling
hey...dunno how to say this but what you described sounds like a toxic cycle.
can u please tell me more abt it?
was he toxic or my patterns?