My breakup happened last night around 3 a.m. He was the one who ended it.
Actually, we have been in a long-distance relationship for 12 years. He never really gave me time because of his career. Earlier, when he was doing a remote job, it was still manageable. But after he started going to the office, he suddenly stopped giving me time at all.
I stay alone the whole day. He only comes online around 12 or 12:30 at night and talks till 1 or 1:15 because he feels sleepy. I also feel sleepy, but I don’t say anything just so we can talk. Even when he comes home early from the office, he still doesn’t give me time.
When I try to ask for some attention, sometimes it turns into an argument. He gets frustrated and even abuses me. I love him so much that even after fighting, I am always ready to talk. But now he is moving away from me. He doesn’t have the same desire to talk to me that I have for him.
Because of my pain, arguments happen. Finally, he said he cannot fight anymore. But what he said after that completely broke my heart.
He said he can’t marry me anymore. He feels that marriage won’t work between us. He said that if we get married and have children, he will have to live suffocatingly for the children, and he won’t even be able to divorce—so it’s better not to marry at all. I cried a lot, but he said that in 2–3 months I will move on and can marry someone else.
After that, he kept insisting on cutting the call. He said I am immature, and even called my innocence a lie. He said I am very “harami” (bad/mean), even after knowing me for 13 years.
I am crying a lot. I don’t know what to do.
am i really wrong?
Last updated on:2025-12-23T21:28:02+05:30
Comments (4)
do you feel like you’ve been alone in this relationship for a long time already, even before the breakup happened?
i don’t think you’re wrong for wanting time, attention, or respect. when someone calls you immature or cruel for asking for the bare minimum, that usually says more about their capacity than your worth. what helped me was reminding myself that love shouldn’t feel like begging every night.
i was in a long relationship too where i kept shrinking my needs just to get a few minutes with him. staying up late, waiting all day, telling myself love means adjusting. when he finally said marriage wouldn’t work, it broke something in me. i feel this in my bones
no darling you are not. if he truly loved you, he will appreciate how caring you are, instead of saying how "suffocating you are". based on your story, the problem is him, not you. you loved and sacrificed a lot, but he took you for granted because he never loved you that much, or maybe he loved you before, but his feelings faded away a long time ago. he just never told you directly but his actions clearly shows.