I thought my ex would be my forever one. after countless failed relationships, I thought I finally one who understood and accepted me for me. he wasn’t my usual type but I got over it because he was sincere and consistent. he won me over.
we planned for a life together. he would move countries (or I would). we both wanted kids and actively tried for one. but we had 2 miscarriages and (given his grief regarding his earlier 20 year marriage) he ended it, citing incompatibility.
I was dumbfounded and grief stricken. I couldn’t understand how someone who won me over and said he loved me so much could just leave me. his avoidant personality never gave me much closure and admittedly I am ashamed that our breakup was not pretty.
4 months down the line, I find myself still wishing we are together. it’s especially tough as all my friends are married with kids.
I finally reached out to him today to say I’m sorry for the way I acted, and also to say that I never went through with any of the things I said I would do during our breakup. I don’t expect a reply but I feel like there is some finality to this chapter.
I’m wondering if this feeling of finality is temporary and if I’ll still feel crap again tomorrow (and fall back into the loop of wishing and praying his heart will soften)
Last updated on:2025-12-27T06:10:27+05:30
Comments (5)
how are you holding up today? do you have something small that comforts you when the feelings hit hard?
I’m holding up better. thank you for asking. what comforts me right now is knowing that the man I fell in love with is gone. he is replaced by this person that I no longer recognise and don’t want to be with… so I keep reminding myself of it. it gets better some days (the mantra and conviction is stronger) and some days I still cry. but I try to be gentle with myself and not go into “fix it” mode. how are you holding up? is there anything that helps you?
giving yourself space and not chasing closure helps me. journaling what you feel each day makes it a bit more bearable
lost someone i thought was my forever too. the grief hits in waves, some days worse than others. it’s okay to still feel it, even months later
how do you maintain a consistent level of grief without spiralling?