don’t do it part 4

yeah this is all my fault tbh. my own doing. I could’ve said no. he’s been getting into the bad habits again. drinking n going out n getting into fights. he said he needed me. had the house to himself for a couple of days n I didn’t want him to be by himself and j drink his heart away and honestly I did miss him. but it was so bad as much as it was good. yes there were lovey dovey moments but he got so mad at me for no reason. and I litterally looked after him. bathed him. cooked for him. cleaned his house while he watched my Netflix lol. got mad at me for the amount of bags i packed i only had a duffle n my tote bag bc i still needed to go to work the days I stayed w him…. on the last day. a close relative passed away and i got the call later that night and he was good he comforted me and held me. but then in the morning got mad at me for being “quiet and moody” but i had j lost my aunty. then when i got home he called and he flipped out and blocked me told me to never call him or text him again . and here we are. it’s funny tho. bc I didn’t call or text him first. don’t do it. don’t let them back in. bc it was my fault for thinking he had the ability to care or even have some empathy. at this point I don’t care about loosing him tbh. bc I needed someone for real rn it’s the first time I’m grieving a close loved one at a mature age. and above all the things I have gone thru bc of that boy… the cheating the lies the hurtful words the constant disrespect him not being there when I need someone the most makes my brain and heart j switch off. ive cried a lot the past few days not bc of him but bc of my aunty. it’s funny how grief takes a hold of u and snaps u back into reality. I lost someone who truly cared and loved me all my life without a doubt… who is this boy who kept playing w my love to me. nothing anymore. and that’s honestly okay. I cared for him. I held him I was there at his lowest supporting him. in every way. yet when I am down he adds on to my worries. no one should add to ur worries. they should be ur safe place. I’m glad I was to him ig but how nice would it be for the to be reciprocated. Dw yall im at peace rn. I even had the most present Christmas in a while. bittersweet but so eye opening to see how much love ppl alrdy in my life have for me. I hope yall had a good Christmas and have a healing and prosperous new yr where we can all just leave them in 2025, restart and get on with reaching the fullest potential of our lives . here’s to another go at ending this season.

Last updated on:2025-12-26T21:13:02+05:30