it's been 50-th day since we texted each other. All that time I was hoping that he could message me. No. Complete silence. A few days ago I saw his profile on Instagram and it turned out that he unsubscribed me and it was private now. There were posts, so I was curious and followed him, again, hoping that he would accept me. ... He blocked me and all my linked accounts. HE NEVER POSTED OF USED INSTAGRAM and now he does.
I'm suspecting that he found someone else, even tho a few months before he said me, that he does not want to step in new relationship for a while. Guess it's the end of "and while". Yesterday I greeted his mom, since it was her birthday(we do text sometime and she loved me as her own child), she thanked and said that she will text me soon. I want to her to ask how is he now. Now I'm in my hometown for holidays and it hurts knowing we live on the same street and I can't go and see him. Home does not feel like home now, considering the fact I'm in abroad allmost all the time and i don't have nothing or nobody there. I think about him all the time, I cry everyday and I still care if he's eating properly because he had problems with food. I can't erase those 5 years, even if every person, who hears my story tells me so. I wanted family with him, I wanted to have children with him. He said that our distance is a trial for us and in future we will be together, stronger and happier. He said that he could've go with me anywhere, even on the edge of the Earth. He called me his wife for a while. And now... Nothing left... The winner takes it all and loser has to fall...
Last updated on:2025-12-29T04:06:47+05:30
Comments (8)
you think part of what’s hurting so much is losing the future you imagined with him, not just the person he is right now?
Both, honestly. I wanted our children to look like him, have his eyes and smile. Seeing how much confidence he gained with me and how he improved, still deciding to leave me. My friend said once "It's scary when someone's great husband made by your love loves another person"
when someone blocks you everywhere, it’s usually them choosing distance because they can’t face the impact of staying connected. what helped me a tiny bit was stopping myself from translating their actions into my worth. easier said than done, i know
there with the silence, the blocking, the sudden social media activity that screams “something changed” but no answers. i also cared about his eating, his routines, his mom. five years doesn’t just disappear. that grief is REAL
My dear friend, I'll be harsh with you.
It's worse because you're digging yourself into a bigger hole.
I'm glad he blocked you. You don't the strength nor the guts to do it.
You're playing with your emotions, do you love yourself even a little?
STOP TEXTING HIM OR TRYING TO GET IN CONTACT WITH HIM.
LET HIM GO. THE THING BETWEEN YOU IT'S DONE, FINISHED.
ACCEPT IT.
People say something like "You're my wife", "We're going to live to together forever", but you need to discern what is true. Most people say something like that because it FEELS GOOD AT THE MOMENT but they don't believe it fully (some people do, I'm not trying to generalize).
Who cares if he has another girl?
HE DOESN'T WANT TO WITH YOU AND THAT'S YOUR ANSWER.
Stop ruminate, stop making false scenarios.
I know, it's hard, it's difficult but you have to do it. Please. Do it for yourself. Don't try to numb the pain, the sadness, the despair. Feel every second of it and ENDURE.
Dear friend, please, heal, keep healing and don't look back. You don't need him. You're worth on your own.
I hope you have a great life and everything works out well for you.
Well, he was the main reason I even started to love myself, improving and working hard(mentally and physically, I took 12 hours shifts as soon as I turned 18 to buy him rare thing he wanted and thought it was impossible to get it). Cause' I never did, I hated me and I do even more now. And now the main reason why I loved myself is gone, so...
@JoyDot638 This is a great opportunity, my dear friend to start loving yourself. Try giving yourself gifts, dates alone, etc.
Dear friend, don't be too harsh on yourself, don't hate yourself.
You're a valuable person, worthy of love. Don't depend on other to love yourself.
Love yourself first then start loving someone.
Don't let this crush you. You have a great future.
@JoyDot638 I know how you feel. 5 years is not easy to just erase or forget. and it’s so so hard not to see what they up to, especially if he lives down the street. to go from lovers one day with the future of a family to strangers and alone the next. the pain… it’s unbearable.
last night I told my best friend to remind me all the time that he is dead. that version of him I remembered is dead. the new one (the coldness, the blocking, the silence) well… that’s not the man I know. he can be a complete stranger. so to me, my ex is dead. and I’ve done everything I can do…
I also saw your post on smoking. I used to smoke (and I still do when very very stressed) so I know how you feel exactly. it’s a tough period. do whatever you need to survive because survival is your objective.