3 months ago my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and 2 months ago he got into a relationship with the girl he told me not to worry about and is "just a friend". We would speak a little here and there but one day when we ran Into eachother accidentally, I told him what happened was unfair to me(regarding him and the girl while we were dating) and he moved on to quick, he said he knew and was sorry, his new gf and me are completely different like completely different features ie I have curly brown hair she has blonde straight hair and other things, one other important thing is that she is everything he said he doesn't want in a partner and he told told me that "she doesn't tick all the boxes'. What should I think to that as I'm really confused lol, also he goes through phases where he blocks me and then unblockes me. For example 2 fridays ago he saw me in the gym and unblocked me to talk to me (we had a few inside jokes about the gym which he said about) he also talked about how my body has changed since going to the gym and I look a lot happier ect we didn't talk from then and then on Christmas I wished him a merry Christmas and he said it back then blocked me again a few hours later. So I'm really confused on what is happening with him because he is in a relationship with a girl that "doesn't tick all the boxes" but loves? yet uses our outside jokes and comments on my body ( not in a mean or sexual way at all just like how I look happier in myself and called me cute) and he unblocks and blocks me?
Im just very confused on what is going through his mind - I just want to clarify I'm not trying to get back with him, I miss him lots and still care about him because our breakup is still fresh but in no way would I ever get in the way of other peoples relationship (because it's what happened to me)
So yeah if anyone has any advice of things I can do or say to him, he did say he wants to be friends and that but idk, I'm just so confused with how he is and I might be overthinking everything but I'm so lost lol
Last updated on:2025-12-27T14:47:50+05:30
Comments (7)
I honestly don’t think you’re overthinking or doing anything wrong. Your confusion makes sense because his actions don’t match his situation. If he truly wanted to be with you, he wouldn’t be blocking and unblocking you, commenting on your looks or pulling you back emotionally while being in another relationship. That behaviour usually means someone hasn’t fully moved on but also isn’t choosing you, and that’s not fair to you. It doesn’t mean you’re not enough or that the other girl is ‘better’ it just means he’s confused and using familiarity for comfort. The healthiest thing for you right now is to take a step back, not to punish him, but to protect yourself.
Distance will give you clarity, because you can’t heal while someone keeps reopening the wound. You deserve consistency, not mixed signals
Thank you so much! You have such a way with words! I definitely think I'm going to give myself space from him even tho it kills me to not talk to him when he texts but I need to do it for me :)
@CoolBreeze965 Sure dear! btw if you ever feel like reading old msgs or think of moments, contact him, or anything like that
tell yourself, you will do this in 15-20 mins
and then distract yourself for good, like do sntg you like, like hobby, watch smtg or study, or anything which makes u better and happy
if u don't have anything then sleep
I do this.
Also if you ever feel sad again, or anything
then you can reach out to me anytime!
If I'm honest he looks like he's doing all that as a way to cope with the grief, he is using other girls to get over it, he even uses you to get over it, what's best is you give him his time and cut all contact off, trust me it gets better and no one deserves to be replaced in anyone's life. I loved my ex and I wouldn't ever replace her and I still won't for a long time, part of me wishes for her to come back
Yeah I think it is best I cut contact with him but I really care about him and when he unblocks me just to talk to me I enjoy it then he blocks me again lol. I feel the same about my ex I would never replace him and part of me wishes he will come back but we both need to look fallward!!
@CoolBreeze965 Of course it's the best, you don't know how much I cared and still care about her and how much I still enjoy talking to her, but after I talked with her everything just got worse, you shouldn't give yourself temporary pleasure if that pleasure can make you feel worse later, imagine it as smoking or drinking.
@enefo Oml that's such a good way of putting it! Thank you so much 😊