I've been thinking about this every day for a couple of month. Now I can't get married and have a family after a breakup, since it involved intimacy. I know that's my fault that I let a man do such thing with me, I told him that I didn't want to involve myself into this before wedding, but he set me the ultimatimum, so he would come to my studying country to co-study with me there. I was a fool to believe him. When my bachelor education ends in summer of 2026(just to satisfy my parents)I'm going to enter orthodox monastery in my homecountry in order to become a nun. The only thing that keeps me alive now is a faith in God, even sometime I think he hates me, but... If he wants me to be closer to him, than that's how should it be. Only nature around, hard work, prayers and isolation from inner world. If love can't be given to another human being, so then it should be all given to the Lord.
Last updated on:2026-01-01T02:18:38+05:30
Comments (7)
do you feel like choosing the monastery is something that brings you peace right now
I think that will purify me in some way and isolate me from men to avoid such contact in the future. Because in orthodoxy it's a great sin and shame for woman to loose purity
i’ve been there in a different way, carrying so much shame after intimacy when it wasn’t really what i wanted, but felt pushed into. that voice that says “this is my fault” can be SO loud. i feel your pain deeply
I feel so sorry for you, sweetheart. Hope you're doing much better now💙
I’ve been following your story and my heart aches for you. is it possible to DM?
@JoyDot638 hi I just followed you on insta
@chillvibes76 I mean I request to follow you