And all the time it's raining outside, Jan, and it doesn't look as though it will ever stop. It shouldn't worry me-I'm under cover-but I am embarrassed to just sit here and eat, to put butter on my bread, while the memory of you stands on the scaffolding before my windows. I imagine you are furious about the rain, furious that I am safe inside, splashing my windows to make me look at you.
But this is probably only my imagination, isn t it? Because you are, no doubt, 100 times less preoccupied with me than I am with you. No, you are not watching me eat. You are just out there... living in the pouring rain and thunder, without me.
Last updated on:2026-01-02T01:59:22+05:30
Comments (5)
when you picture them out there in the rain, is it more about missing them or missing who you were when they were still part of your world?
yes
when my thoughts started doing this poetic spiral thing, i’d remind myself that missing someone doesn’t mean they’re missing me the same way. that realization sucked, but it slowly loosened the grip. not all at once. just enough to get through the day
feeling this exact thing, safe on the outside but drowning inside, watching the world move while he kept standing there in my head. i used to feel embarrassed for surviving when he wasn’t with me anymore. like loving them was still my full time job
beautiful!