I have reset it a no contact toggle multiple times. Everytime either she or me get in touch and it feels a boost. But the story remains same she never stayed on her promise to be respectful not using sarcasm and polite tone. Whenever a tough situation comes she always breaks the promise. Now my thoughts has become that I will test her to make sure she is on her promisw or not. Yesterday I had my birthday and I was clear with her not to ruin it and by the end of the day she repeated the same behave and blocked me everywhere. Earlier when simikar thing happen I used to visit her for discussion but this time I am deeply hurt. This shudnt be the day to break her words and block me on my face.. May be due to trauma bonding I am divided in to two one-not to go to her this time (but have a fear that she won't come ever) and second is I shud drive her city and talk again as this tine without her is real pain. I don't knw why I have become like this and following this pattern. Otherwise earlier if anyine used to disrespect me I set up boundaries. Can anyone suggest what is the right way for me. I knw my brain also says being in real no contact this time and she shud reach out as she spoiled my day. But tough to console heart.
Last updated on:2026-01-03T09:52:06+05:30
Comments (6)
I need some serious help ths pain this anger this anxiety is not letting me sit calm I can't do anything neither feels like. Spending more time in bed preying god and avoiding family so that they won't ask me anything what happened to me.
I was expecting her today that she ll come and see me as we always agreed that whenever things go wrong she ll come and sort but I just found she has left for her work and its paining me deep. One mind says it's my weekend and I should go and scold her talk to her and one mind is saying do kot go as it shows me as weak. As I have don't this before as well and she will het a message when she stops talking I ll run from here to talk. I am feeling stuck and seeing a reality that me and relationship doesn't matter for her.
when you imagine driving to her city right now, are you hoping she’ll finally change, or just trying to make the pain stop for tonight?
I know what you meant. As this has happemed before as well when I drove to her city exchanged words things got right but in a day or two she is again the same.
what helped me was realizing i kept “testing” them because i didn’t trust their words anymore. once i saw that, i stopped arguing with my brain and started protecting my heart, even though it hurt like hell at first.
i’ve lived this exact loop. resetting no contact, getting that tiny boost, then getting cut down by sarcasm again. birthdays especially, mine got ruined once and it STILL stings. trauma bond is real