It is so hard to be okay and strong anymore. I feel more down because everything hurts. My fresh break up with my very first boyfriend who turned out a cheater and a lying bastard who so childish that I am even more like THE guy on our relationship that him and the multiple betrayals he have made me felt after I opened everything to him, after I gave everything to him including my virginiry, how there is no single month where I do not feel stress with him or us.
Then I still also have such a dysfunctional family who also brings me down especially my dad.
Bruh the two special guys in my life hurt me so much. My dad abandoned me, he cheated on mom, he is abusive not only physically but also words. He chose his other family than us and he chose himself too much for being such a bad parent like imagine he even told my elder sister who hurted and damaged so much for her to kill herself already? who does that? plus my first boyfriend who is now my ex cheated on me and betrayed and hurt me in a lot of ways. I openeed everything to him. He were aware about everything about me, my thoughts, feelings, situation, traumas, pain and struggles. He knows how I feel so alone and so hurt and so tired about everything but he still chose to keep on hurting me. He was also an inconsistent bastard who made me feel so confused about husbfeelings, my worth and other more.
My friends arent even there for me. Even a little bit of support or showing even duch a little care, NOTHING. It's like am the one who is even begging for them to see and be aware of my struggles and please help me because im drowning si badly. I was suicidal and they knew that. They knew I had thoughts, they knew there are times I am hurting myself already. They know all that, not only my friends but also my mother and my ex but they still do shitty things on me that hurts me even more.
I even have a sickness, I just found out I have a PCOS they also all know that but they still keep on making me feel more alone and hurt.
I have been strong all my life. It is still a miracle I keep getting the best grades in school ever since kindergarten till now while I am 1st year college.
I also have a lot of struggles on myself. I have a lot of insecurities most especially cauaed of what my ex did too and my family and I dont know everything is just making things worst.
I gave everything to my ex, my whole feelings and thoughts even my sacred body but he still did not took care of me and he still look to other girls, WHAT A BASTARD!!!
I also keep on ranting on my social medias but no one even showed enoigh care or support.
It is hard for me to open up and trust anymore after everything.
In the end I am still trying for myself. I am still trying to be productive and be better for myself because I know what I deserve. I know that I do not deserve all of this that is why I am trying not to let myself lose me.
I do not feel like I have anybody, why should I also let my very own self to go away?
It is so hard and hurtful. I do not even have a single person who I really feel like I can confide on. Who I really feel close with or whom I really trust that cares for me so much and loves me (friendly or not)
Everything is so hard and hurtful. My issues with my ex is already bad enough then other problems will include too?
It is bringing me down and it is really getting hard to keep on being strong and be better everyday.
I think my cats are the only thing who I even feel is really there for me. Bruh the two of them keeps on guarding my door. Not always but a lot of times.
There was a time I was crying and my cat she keeps on rubbing herself on me.
That is all..I just wanted to rant here hoping that maybe here someone will sort of show some kind of care or support. If nothing then maybe I should really lessen my expectation or my hope on opening up too much in this app too like I already have done on the other platforms
Last updated on:2026-01-09T19:04:00+05:30
Comments (11)
right now, what hurts more, the betrayal from him or the feeling that no one showed up when you were drowning?
both is weighing heavily inside me..
i grew up with an abusive parent AND had a first love who cheated after knowing all my trauma. that double betrayal messes with your sense of safety so deeply. none of this means you’re weak.
thank you...it was not our fault but we are the one having the most hard time because of the damages and pain that their actions have done. It is hard *sigh*
Its hard to give part of yourself, your soul to someone and they treat you like trash. I'll be honest, my girlfriend just broke up with me, and I can't even pinpoint why. This morning it was "I love you" and tonight it was "I'm done" I told her things about myself I never revealed, I exposed every weakness every vulnerability and she promised not to break my heart, cause she knew how that felt and she did it anyway, all I got are questions. I say this so you know you're not alone. Connection is hard to make, fragile to maintain and devastating when the other person takes it away from you, especially if it doesn't make sense. I'm with you in this pain, as I'm sure others are too.
thank youuu <33 sending hugs, u didnt deserve that too. It does sucks when you entrusted someone with your vulnerability or the all of you just to handle it so carelessly. I guess it wasnt that important to them as it was to us and we dont deserve those
It was heartbreaking to read your situation, I can't even imagine what you're going through and I know it's seems extremely hard right now but I know for sure someday, you'll find everything you deserve because you're hard working. just keep on going and focus on your career, I too never had close and genuinely caring friends, and had really difficult partners who always hurt my self esteem, betrayed or did other evil things, it does hurt a lot, but this is just a phase. try to learn from your experience and keep on going. I supported you 💖
thank you so much FrostBuzz <33
I'll be honest you seem to hurt, believe me I'm going through the same and I am genuinely sorry for you but if someone helps you or not you should lesson your expectation if not to 0 because you can't expect things, not because they won't happen but because it's not realistic, you can want things of course but this pain is what shapes us you need to get through it for yourself, get support in any way if it's from yourself make sure it's healthy and you'll get very far, if you want to talk tell me but other than that I hope you make it
thank youuuuuu <33
3rd part : *who he hurted and damaged so much