So today I burnt a goodbye letter I wrote for him. I had a really hard day a few days ago. I spiraled. I allowed myself to fear where he is. if he is already moving on. I looked at his facebook. ugh, I did some stuff. We rise and fall and rise again, right? I got my kids back from their dad and my nervous system felt good again. A few days of talking to myself out loud. Begging myself to let go. I read this letter I had every intention on sending to him. and said to myself... why would he care? I bared my soul and he said close to nothing. I wrote this letter for me. It was a big step. I burnt some sage and told myself, it's time. Been almost a month since he left. No contact. I told him I wouldn't reach out and here I am staying strong. I'm tired of living my entire life in survival mode. childhood trauma. longest relationship was with a narcissistic abuser for a decade. 2nd was with an alcoholic asshole. then bam! I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. And now this discardment. don't get me wrong, my entire existence is my children. I know what true love is because of them. I love my family. I want to know what true peace is, and I will work for it. therapy starts soon. for me. I won't hold onto hope. I did it all, asked friends opinions. wasted money on those online 🔮. some said it's over. most said it's temporary. I can't hold on to these what if scenarios. time to move forward. I'll rise and fall. rise again and fall again. heartbreak is a messy thing. sorry for the novel. maybe it'll be appreciated. maybe not. time for peace. and I'll work for it for myself by myself. Do you guys think there is someone out there for us?
Last updated on:2026-01-05T18:37:10+05:30
Comments (5)
when you imagine “true peace,” what does it look like for you, not as a partner or parent, but just as you?
I don't know just yet. I hope i will know soon
i’ve burned letters too, ones i poured EVERYTHING into after being met with silence. the spiral, the fb checking, the bargaining with the universe… i know that place 😮💨 especially after a lifetime of survival mode and bad partners. you’re not weak for any of this.
This time you will rise and rise even higher hun!! Right person wrong time bullshit doesn't exist it was the wrong person and a waste of time ❤️
I'm sorry to hear you're sick. I wish you a speedy recovery and strength soon... Look, waiting and hoping are difficult. Yes, it's time for you to live happily and proudly. It's time to focus on yourself, your children, and your life. There's no need to wait. A woman doesn't give up or wait. A woman is precious and should be appreciated, not broken. Stay away from him, even if he tries to come back. Don't go back immediately. Weigh the pros and cons. Think with your head, not your heart. Is he hurting me or making me happy? Let go of waiting and hoping, move on with your life, live in the moment, and make yourself and your children happy. You will be happy inside, and you will know your worth when you set boundaries and don't allow people to cross them. You will be okay. Know your worth and focus on your work and self-improvement. Protect your heart; no one deserves it. Be happy, and you will be okay soon. 🤍