he wants to get back together!!!

huge update! this is a long one brace your selves💪.... after 82 days of nc on my side. and after 12 days of the last time he reached out. He reached out again and this time it's different. so what happened was about 3 month ago my boyfriend broke up with me, the last straw being his addition of a 3rd job that consumes more of his time like more than 16 or so hours(as he told me). The main cause being our constant fights getting intensified day by day so at last he decided to break us apart. which at the time was very devastating and hurt breaking and soo gut wrenchingly painful, to be honest it still was i still cried time after time, got obsessed, anxious and miserable..to be fair most of the reasons we used to fight was me. I tend to get pouty a bout the little things and i don't drop them easily. and during our fights which used to get very ugly and overwhelming, it goes on and on for hours constant. so me coz of my nervous system my body basically reacts by shutting down. i couldn't speak even if i wanted to, my chest or my whole body hurts and i just want to get out of the fight. since i couldn't speak i usually ask for a space to recollect in which he couldn't give me at the moment, because of his overthinking and nervous system regulations. so i end up saying something that suggests giving up on us or us being not compatible which i will regret later and in return hurts him more. and there's this huge problem that I've aswell, personally I'm a very bubbly person i laugh alot even in serious situations(i don't know how to contain myself). so there are incidents where i bottle things up because i couldn't speak, express my emotions or frustrations then i laugh. which he assumes I'm laughing on his vulnerability but i swear i wasn't which caused a huge fight aswell.... but don't get me wrong he has his flaws too. he wants everything to get done in the way he wants during our fights he doesn't listen when i get the little bit of capacity to talk he gets defensive and he doesn't want to give me the space that i desperately need.. so yesterday in our call he told he fixed the job or financial issue we might have on the future(coz we used to talk about that and on the process of breaking up he told me that if he fixed that and be in a place he wanted to be financially he would come back)and he's been seeing me in his dreams specially our last fights. so i told him that the jobs wasn't the only issues and he began explaining the above problems that I had. which i try to explain the reasons of my reactions aswell. so he told me to think about it and write me your fears aswell(his was triggered coz of me or losing me) and things you want me to fix. the problem is 1. he didn't process everything like i did. he talked to me like the fight was yesterday he's still emotionally present on those days. and i feel like he still didn't give me the space to explain. 2nd he panicks and shakes if he feels the relationship is threatened or thinks i will leave him. which i don't think it's love, i feel like it's past trauma response. so i want to help him heal that
3rd how can i fix my laughing issue?
4th he doesn't understand his attachment style yet( i tried to understand mine and tried to work on it) so I'm scared that the pattern will repeat and i don't want to get hurt like before. but I'm willing to try it anyways. So any resolutions or suggestions for the problems that I've mentioned would be appreciated..... and yeah, thank you so much everyone. it was a long journey but i couldn't have made it to this day without y'all support and encouragement. i love y'all. And if anyone wants to talk to about anything or as someone who was waiting for their ex to come back I'm here.🫶❤️

Last updated on:2026-01-06T00:16:12+05:30