After a few months of properly working on myself, I decided to reach out to my ex not to reopen anything, but because we were friends long before we were together and I wanted to be honest about that. The breakup itself had already made sense to me; we couldn’t love each other the way we both needed, and I’ve accepted that. What I hadn’t fully let go of was the friendship side of it, so saying something felt important for my own closure rather than expectation. Her response was kind but clear that she’s still processing the breakup, and honestly, that gave me more peace than silence would have. It doesn’t leave me with “what ifs” or regret I said my piece, respected the boundary, and now I can just carry on living my life knowing I handled it maturely and with care.
Last updated on:2026-01-09T21:27:02+05:30
Comments (7)
when you reached out, did it feel like you were truly ready to just let the friendship exist, or was part of you hoping for a different response?
It was about letting the friendship exist again. I knew things would never go back to how they were during our four years together, but I was willing to rebuild something new from it. I’ve also accepted that I’m not ready for any relationship right now and that’s okay.
this is so mature of you. respecting boundaries while expressing your feelings is huge. sometimes closure comes from your own words, not theirs
i reached out to an ex after months too, just to clear the air. it felt heavy at first but saying it out loud gave me some peace
I’m at a point now where I know I still love her, and I probably always will in some way. What helped me was looking at the relationship as a whole and asking whether love on its own was enough and for us, it wasn’t. The last 4–5 months have been about processing that and learning how to live with it rather than fighting it. If I saw her with someone else now, I’d like to think my first thought would be that I hope she’s happy. There’s no hatred on either side; we just needed different kinds of love, and neither of us could give the other what they needed. I’ve also met someone new we’re just friends at the moment but she has amazing qualities and shows me the kind of love I need, and that’s actually been one of the hardest parts while I’m still discovering myself. I’ve lost two stone, I’m running 10ks and going to the gym regularly, and I don’t want to lose that momentum. In the past, getting into a relationship meant losing myself, and this time I’m making sure that doesn’t happen again.
I have a similar situation like you we were good freinds before but after all thats happened i want to view her as a freind but i just cant.So i must ask how do you get over it fully if they were kind and loyal until it all happened
sorry I replied above I think