Ended things for the better

Hi! I'm El. So, I have my first rs during my first year college. Our relationship have been toxic, because I have an anxious attachment and she's avoidant. We're so different that's why our rs is not secure. We fought a lot of challenge until we broke up in August 2025, our academic break/vacation. She have a personal problem that push her to leave me and I agree with it because of her lack of effort and quality of time. Then, she reached out in October and want to try again but I ask her to wait because I don't know if I still want to be with her. I'm in doubt. Our situationship start on October until January, and it's still toxic. I'm overthinker that's why I always ask for assurance/time but always goes to a huge fight. Then, January 1, 2026, her last straw, we had a huge fight that night and I said, I want to finally to end things between us. I fucking regret it. After that day, I reached out but I'm too late. She realized that we're so different and she really doesn't want to be with me again. I try to fix things because I know it's my fault. I own my mistake and said to change, but she really chose to end things between us now. I hate myself because I don't have a choice but to let her go, because it's really my fault. It's me the problem. How can I forgive myself again, huh?

Last updated on:2026-02-13T21:52:04+05:30