My ex has finally cut off the last thread of contact we had. She blocked me on iMessage unfollowed me on Instagram (though not blocked yet) but until now she had still kept me on Snapchat. Even though she chose someone she’d only known for a week over the three years we shared I held on to the small hope that maybe one day she’d realize her mistake and reach out through that platform just like she had before.
Today she unadded me. And as small as that might seem to others for me it feels like the final tearing of my heart. It’s confirmation that there is no “us” anymore that she doesn’t want us at all. After everything the effort the memories the years it’s gone. A simple unadd a simple block and that’s it.
I’m hurting. I told myself I’d move on and I’ve tried distracting myself with friends games going out the gym. But the nights are the hardest. They haunt me. I cry a lot. I can’t stop wondering what she’s doing if she’s talking to him if he’s giving her the things I couldn’t because of the distance.
For those who’ve been through this how did you cope at night with the waves of sadness and loneliness? How did you handle that final nail in the coffin when they made it clear there was no going back?