Bastard, I loved you! You were my ideal, we were not only lovers, but also the best friends in the world. I forgave you for all your betrayals. But you crossed the line in March 2024, you started breaking me. I can't stand physical violence - and you knew it perfectly well. Even after that, I continued to stay with you, hoping that this would never happen again. But the event in July 2025 was the last straw, and I still continued to be with you despite the developing PTSD. I already felt really bad around you, but I held on to that pain. I remember how wonderful and good we were during the first two years of our relationship, and I cry. I miss that version of you; I always wanted to see you as a kind and understanding guy. I know I was hysterical, but you always convinced me that it was bearable. All that remains of you are those illusory memories and dust. You left so quickly and so abruptly... I really miss your image, which no longer has any relation to the real you. And I will cry until my tears run out, I will experience this as deeply and painfully as possible. I will suffer through all this pain.
Last updated on:2026-01-20T19:54:14+05:30
Comments (11)
when you think about that first version of him, do you feel like you’re mourning him, or mourning the safety and love you thought you’d finally found
Everything...
i hear how deep this goes.
i stayed after violence too, even when my body was screaming no. i missed the early version of them so badly i ignored who he become. loving the memory while grieving the reality is brutal
They don't deserve to stay with them.
so sorry😞
I’m sorry 💔😔
I'm sorry.
so sorry , sending you love and light
You were the best of the best, and also the worst of the worst.
Still, thank you so much for what you've done for me over these six years. I really appreciate it. Thank you for who I am now. I don't think you're a 100% monster, I'm just not ready to put my mental and physical health at risk a couple of times a year; I'm not ready to sacrifice that.