I’m honestly so over my life right now. A long time ago I had a real love and even though we were from different cultures and at different points in our lives we really loved each other. I haven't seen her since the summer of 2023 and she’s married to someone else now and since we broke up I’ve just never been the same. I tried to fill the void with drugs and alcohol and while they made me feel better for a moment they just ruined my life further. I got addicted to opioids and the needle and even though I’m off that now and on recovery meds I feel like I should just go back to the drugs because at least then I felt okay. I also try to fill the emptiness with other women but it never works; I either get way too attached too fast or I just end up hurting them. I don't know what else to do because I’ve tried therapy counseling and meds but nothing helps. On paper my life isn't even bad—I have money a job and a good family—but I still feel so incredibly alone and I hate myself for it. I don't understand why I’m still thinking of her why I get so attached to women I barely know or why I still crave drugs every single minute of the day.
Last updated on:2026-01-23T02:21:03+05:30
Comments (3)
when you think about her now, is it really her you miss, or the version of you that felt whole and safe when you were with her
i’m really glad you’re still here and off the needle. when everything felt pointless for me, the only thing that helped a little was not asking myself to feel better, just asking myself to get through the next hour without wrecking myself
i lost someone i thought was it, then watched him move on while i spiraled into drinking and pills. that emptiness mixed with shame is brutal. being “okay on paper” made me hate myself even more