we broke up because we argued a lot for 5 months and it never changed and i acknowledge that im the one who mostly started the conflict because at first i didnt really like him like that so i didn’t treat him right and it made him lose a bit of feelings but eventually i did like him and our arguments started from me asking constantly for reassurance and he didnt want to give it to me all the time because he didnt think he owed it to me since i didnt treat him how he wanted to be treated and because he just thought i didnt trust him so we argued about how he acts like he doesnt care and it got switched around on how i act too and we ended up both saying things to each other we didn’t mean since i am sensitive and i say stuff when i feel affected and he has a short temper and no patience at all and every argument we had it wasnt talked about in a healthy way on how to not make it happen again we just talked it out and went on about the day so it never got fixed and i have bad habits and some bad habits dont go away so its difficult to communicate how i should be sometimes and he was aware of it but still this ended the way it did and yeah the arguments went on consistently every month because he didnt change his actions and i didnt change the way i spoke to him and now he suddenly feels numb towards me is what he explained like he has no negative feelings towards me its just nothing and he had lost feelings for me during Christmas break and thats also when we had a big argument but made up after so i thought we were fine and we did promise to actually change that time but what he told me recently is that overtime he lost feelings and last month they just never came back so now he feels nothing but drained and tired and at the same time he said he was unsure and that he really did want the relationship but then the next minute he didnt and he was sure he didnt and he didnt care about my feelings because of everything that happened in the past he made put in effort thats now wasted when he knew he didnt want us anymore he just calls me or texts a couple of times because he “misses” me in the moment and then the rest of the day hes cold and doesnt say anything and when i ask him why he says its because hes bored. and while im upset trying to talk to him it was like he was mocking me and thinking it was funny but if he really loved me he would not be doing that at all and it would be hard to throw a relationship you care about away especially when the one 50% at fault is telling you to try again and we would work it out. i talked to him yesterday and asked him if he was going to make his mind up all he said was idk and then i told him he would have to then he said he was fully prepared to move on and feels nothing its like he was just playing with me and he lied about having blocked me and said he just made new accounts but then when i pull it up his account is there when he could have just been honest especially towards the ending of the relationship. i dont even know now if he really cared because its like he doesn’t now he didnt validate my feelings or listen to anything i said because apparently he gave me “too many chances” when we are both at fault and he knew how the communication was and he had so long to say he was feeling less good around me. i asked him to be friends but he doesnt even want to be around me and now his family doesnt like me because of the situation and his dad is racist and doesnt like black people so that hurt my feelings. i did stuff with him i wasnt supposed to do too and i feel really guilty because i just wasted it and to me its so serious and to him its like he just threw it out. we sent explicit things to each other and he made me feel comfortable doing it so i did it and i know i shouldnt have but i did unfortunately and when we came to see me he did weird stuff to me in the back of his moms car and when we got back to the house he pushed me on the bed and touched me and i just let it happen because he said stop and a part of me did want it and i just thought it was love and i feel really guilty and thats the hardest part in all of this because thats supposed to be special between two people and he just doesnt care because of arguing so i dont even know if he really liked me. his parents even said they dont like me anymore and his dad doesnt like my race , they apparently dont like me since my grandmother contacted the mother and she was upset about the situation and was a bit rude and didnt exactly word what i said correctly. and now they think its best we dont talk anymore and they just dislike me for what happened. he was my first kiss and i always wanted to know what it was like so now its going to be hard to get over it because i never went through this and i dont talk to people in person i dont have any friends and anyone i talk to is not compatible with me and we never last as friends and i am quiet so its hard to talk to people and i just talked to him literally 24hrs a day on the phone for 5 months and now im back to being by myself so i feel really bad and i dont know what to do now sorry if this was a lot
Last updated on:2026-02-03T02:23:42+05:30
Comments (4)
do you feel like you need closure from him, or is it more about understanding yourself and what happened? just curious what would help you most right now.
theres more that happened a few days after that. we can contact each other and talk about it if youd like or you can check my other comments i posted on here, if they dont help we can talk about it
this is heavy and it’s okay to just sit with it. it sounds like you gave your all and he didn’t match it, and that’s not on you. take your time
something similar with my first relationship, constant fights and mixed feelings, and then it ended suddenly. that feeling of “was any of it real?”…yeah, i know it too well.