The other day I discovered that my husband has been lying and cheating on me. For years he’s barely been present and I had already started realizing he was a pathological liar. Seeing the proof made everything click into place. I found messages with a 20year old girl where he was telling her what story he planned to give me after I started asking questions.
I had been feeling numb about our relationship for a while but seeing those messages and knowing the truth shattered me. He even lied to her saying that I was the one cheating and that I was the bad person. My heart broke. Now I’m facing life as a single mother. I can’t support myself on my own and depend on my family and I don’t know how I’ll ever move forward from this.
In every relationship I’ve been in I’ve been cheated on gaslit and lied to. And through it all I was loyal so loyal. I gave everything I could and I know I don’t deserve this.
Right now I can’t imagine ever loving anyone again. Everywhere I look it feels like cheating has become normal like it’s expected. I just want to be loved the way I love but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let someone get that close again. It feels like all the good men are already taken and the ones who seem good aren’t. I don’t feel special I’m overweight I have gaps in my teeth I’d love to fix but can’t afford I have a child and I rely on my family to survive. I don’t even have my own place. And even if I did meet someone decent he’d probably want children of his own and I don’t want another.
I feel like I’m destined to die alone like happiness will never be mine. I don’t understand how my husband could be so cruel. He hasn’t apologized once. I don’t ever want to be with him again I just wish he would leave me and my child alone though honestly that wouldn’t be much different from how absent he’s already been.
How do I ever learn to love again? How do I let someone close without fearing they’ll hurt me? How do I trust anyone enough to bring them into my child’s life and believe they’ll love them even half as much as I do? I’ve survived so much already and I’m trying to keep going for my child. But right now I don’t know how to handle this.
Last updated on:2026-02-02T18:27:03+05:30
Comments (3)
do you feel more scared about being alone forever, or about letting someone close and having them hurt you and your child again?
You have to think that there's no other way than to make it. You have to take care of your child, you can't give up. Focus on yourself and your child and everything will fall into place. You deserve better. We're all here for you
ame thing with a partner who lied so easily it messed with my sense of reality. the gaslighting, the cheating, being painted as the bad one. i was loyal too. that part really BROKE me. you’re not crazy for feeling shattered.