Im struggling to get over my narc discarding me. You'd think I'd be happy because he was very controlling & manipulative and i'd even walk on eggshells around him.
He left on Christmas eve, I'm pregnant & we already have kids together. We also live in the same apartment complex, literally across from each other smh 🤦🏾‍♀️
So here's what im struggling with.... idc that he left me. I care because while we were together he'd say things like "if we don't work out ill always be there for you and the kids" basically telling me that he had no plans on staying...(which i can admit i ignored 🤦🏾‍♀️🤣).... while since he left, I developed all types of health issues while pregnant... HP, anxiety, insomnia and i almost had a miscarriage, and I recently found out that our baby has a short limb and club foot....Do you think he cared?... I dont have the funds to move right now... so im forced to watch him live his life like I dont even exist... but if this was the other way around I'd be there for him like I've always have... its a repeated cycle, he'd leave and he'd need me again and i'd stop everything i was doing to help him out... but this time around I needed him and completely discarded me!!! This hurts so bad ... how do I move on from this????
Last updated on:2026-02-15T10:05:28+05:30
Comments (6)
Right now you must focus on your health and that of the baby. That should be your priority right now. He can't seem to give you what you need.
he don't care cuz he discard u he lie he must avoidant b I think better u not see him I wan recommend u live with fam
you picture him “caring,” what would that actually look like right now? is it support with the pregnancy, emotional reassurance, financial help?
i got discarded too, and i remember thinking “why do i even care?? he was awful.” but it wasn’t about wanting HIM. it was about wanting the version of him he promised to be. the “i’ll always be there” guy. and when he just… vanished? that part broke me. especially watching him move around like nothing happened. living across from him?? that’s a different kind of hell. i’m so sorry
I'm going to share witb you something that has helped me to deal with toxic or narcissistic people. it's based on the concept called radical acceptance.
I have this printed on my wall.
The Gentle Art of Detachment
An Observer's Guide to Peace—Without Fixing
1. Not to take things personally
2. Not to judge them
3. Not to pressure them to change
4. Not to expect too much from them
5. Remember they are not perfect
Observe your ex with a cup of tea.
Look for comedy instead of love and understanding.
I tried to read that everyday.
I am also leaving a abusive relationship. You aren't alone. I have done free trauma counseling at a women's center in my area. EMDR therapy was really helpful.
CODA codependence anonymous meetings are free and you can do them in person or online.
I would maybe make a list of all of the other people, places, and resources that you can turn to for support instead of focusing on the one person who can't provide you with support.
maybe think about listening to the audiobook or reading the book boundaries by Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud
I believe in you. I know you can get through this. I have faith that your baby will be Born strong and healthy and that you and your kids will overcome any obstacle that life throws at you. You are worthy of love just as you are.
Cut him off. he doesn’t deserve your help.