I broke no contact after 270 days. My ex is very forceful and made multiple fake accounts etc to try and get through to me for a while now. I have in because I'm going through a really stressful time rn and so my wall has broken down. I thought I could get some answers from him why he was acting like a stalker. He basically confessed his love etc. but he was completely gaslighting me saying that my reason to break up with him was nothing. He cheated on me and made bets on me with his friends. I think that's valid enough. He then asked if I wanted to go out for valentine's day. And I was like no. basically I am stripped in pieces again a year later because idk how but this guy brings up every piece of trauma I have to the surface and I always end up so low after talking to him. like it's unreal. Like the way he even talks to me it's like he is trying to sweet talk me but he is saying I'm his and im like I'm not a trophy and I'm not urs. like the audacity to actually believe you have the right to be in my life is crazy. So basically for anyone thinking of breaking no contact, dont, literally nothing good comes out of it...
Last updated on:2026-02-14T17:10:32+05:30
Comments (9)
It sounds like he really opened a wound of yours that was in the process of healing. I’m sorry, it’s so hard and I know how you feel. This won’t last forever. Stay safe (away from him) so you can fully heal and come back to yourself
he says you’re “his,” does it make you feel scared, angry, or weirdly pulled in? i’m curious what emotion shows up strongest for you when he talks like that
well for me like he was around his friends when he was saying I was "his" and "his girlfriend" and tbh he did that cuz it was like status in front of his friends. When be talks like that I get angry not scared or sad. just angry because in a sentence like that it completely take away my autonomy like I don't have a name I'm just "his" like I don't have a say in my own life.
i’m not judging you for breaking no contact. stress lowers our walls. but i learned the hard way that if someone cheated and humiliated me, no amount of “answers” was going to make it safe.
i broke no contact after months and it unraveled me in hours. the fake accounts, the “i love you” mixed with gaslighting, the ownership language. it’s trauma bond stuff and it hits deep
reminding myself of this daily also helped
The Gentle Art of Detachment
An Observer's Guide to Peace—Without Fixing
1. Not to take things personally
2. Not to judge them
3. Not to pressure them to change
4. Not to expect too much from them
5. Remember they are not perfect
Observe your ex, family, friends, coworkers with a cup of tea.
Look for comedy instead of love and understanding.
I have that up on my wall.
thank you for this reminder❤️🩹
I can't even imagine how that must feel. It sounds like you are feeling stripped to pieces and heartbroken. It looks like you are feeling exhausted and drained because he triggers your trauma when he gaslights you. I want you to know you thoughts and feels are valid. I'm guessing it hurts when he dismissed your reasons for breaking up with him and can't take responsibility or apologize. I believe you that he cheated on you and made bets with his friends. You deserve to be loved just as you are. you deserve to honesty, loyal, commitment and respect.
I want you to know you aren’t alone in this. I’ve broken no contact too—more than once—hoping for an apology or accountability that just never came. I’ve had to learn the hard way to stop expecting him to be someone he isn't.
Because he kept using burner numbers and fake emails to reach me, I finally had to change my own email and phone number. It’s a total pain, but it’s worth the peace of mind. Pro-tip: If you tell your phone provider you’re leaving an abusive situation, they will usually waive the change fee. You might also consider changing your display name or using your middle name on social media so you’re harder to track down after blocking him.
It’s exhausting that we have to go through this much trouble just to move on, but your safety and sanity are worth it. Here are the tools that helped me stay strong:
The Gray Rock Method: Perfect for handling unwanted contact. (Google it)
Reading/Listening: Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend, The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, and Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare by Shahida Arabi.
Support: Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) meetings (is free). and Trauma or EMDR therapy through a local women’s center (it's free)
You’ve got this, and you’re doing the right thing. I believe in you.
Thank you so much for your help. I hope you heal from your experience too xxx