He ended things in July without any warning or signs.
Since then things have been up and down and I feel as though I am actually healing. yesterday he arrives at the house to collect the dog. He knew I wasn’t home- I planned it this way. I check my camera today and I can see him getting in the passenger door. So who is driving the car. on closer inspection of the footage it’s clear someone is in the car unless they have suddenly inverted self driving cars with no one being in the driving seat?! Anyway- I just feel so hurt and outraged by this.
Do I want him back- NO! But do I address this? surely there has to be some boundaries? Am I being unreasonable?
what would you do?
Last updated on:2026-02-19T23:12:26+05:30
Comments (7)
is it the fact someone was in the car… or that he didn’t tell you? like what part feels the most triggering right now? and if you reach out, what outcome are you hoping for
I literally am happy for him if he has found someone. however what I am struggling with is the fact that he couldn’t provide a reasonable explanation for turning mine and my sons life upside down with no warning.
I have remained accepting the fact that there was probably someone else. I have ASD and am struggling with the not knowing and this whole situation being out of my control. I feel so rejected and although I am in a better headspace now, I just feel these questions coming back when he does stuff which triggers me. I haven’t asked any questions since he came here but it’s brewing in my belly hence why I asked for advice.
move on
Easier said than done Nisa. Maybe you should follow your own advice.
whenever i reacted from that first wave of outrage, i usually regretted it. i had to sit with it a minute. ask myself if addressing it would actually protect my peace or just pull me back into chaos.
the blindsided breakup in july already messed with your nervous system, and now THIS? i went through something similar where my ex showed up with someone new way too soon. i didn’t want him back either, but seeing proof he’d moved on like that… it felt like a punch to the gut. it’s not about wanting him. it’s about respect. and that part HURTS.
Absolutely. It’s a total kick in the stomach.