I realized today that I’d rather have zero hours of conversation than two hours of invalidation.
It’s a heavy realization when you find out your partner can’t grasp the simple concept that we are two different people with two different points of view. I spent so much energy trying to be understood, only to have my feelings dismissed and my insecurities used as leverage.
To anyone else feeling "lonely" while in a relationship: your feelings are valid, and you shouldn't have to fight for the right to be hurt. I'm moving on to find a space where my voice actually carries weight.
Last updated on:2026-02-27T03:33:29+05:30
Comments (12)
when they used your insecurities as leverage, did they apologize after? or did it just keep becoming the pattern? sometimes noticing that pattern is what makes everything click.
I brought it up many times that he was using my insecurities and vulnerabilities against me and he never changed. that broke my heart. that's why I had to leave. I had to accept that he didn't care when he hurt me.
that realization is heavy but it’s powerful.
I agree.
i’ve sat through those two hour conversations where i walked away feeling smaller every time. trying to explain my feelings over and over just to be told i was “too sensitive.” the loneliness inside a relationship is a different kind of ache i’m proud of you for choosing silence over invalidation.
Thank you for your support. When someone tells me I'm too sensitive I tell them I'm just sensitive enough. I got that comment from a book. it's sad that people try to dismiss our feelings to avoid accountability.
These are always so insightful. Because it highlights issues that we all should be more mindful of.
I think there are lots of things we need to be more mindful of in our relationships. I know personally I need to continually be focusing on personal growth and working on my communication skills and listening skills when it comes to relationships.
omg i write all a paragraph for you and it delete😭😭😭
I hate when that happens. thank you for taking the time to write that paragraph. I'm sure it was awesome. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
my situation rn and they blame you for feeling pain they bilittle it as if its nothing and they get mad for how you react to their actions...my ex who is also my bd and i had lots of problems mostly because hed cheat and flirt alot then i got pregnant he left me to go through it alone as if that was not enough he never came to the hospital when i was giving birth..gave birth via cs..he never csme to help me out of the hospital he left me same day i was discharged and went ..i was alone no help no support just him shit talking me later came to find out all that time he was flirting...i got so mad i slapped him a dew times and now he pins me as the bad guy calls me toxic ..insane and violent😊💔
I am so incredibly sorry you went through that. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain of being abandoned in your most vulnerable moment, especially after a major surgery like a C-section. It sounds like you were pushed to a breaking point after being neglected and gaslit, which is a devastating place to be.
Please be gentle with yourself. When someone constantly belittles your pain and shifts the blame onto your reactions, it’s incredibly confusing, but your feelings were—and are—valid.
When I was navigating my own toxic situation, I found a lot of peace through a Free counselor counselor at the women's center and a group called Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA). I’m not saying this to add more to your plate—I know you are already doing the work of two parents right now—but just so you know it’s there if you ever feel like you need a safe space to vent.
CoDA is basically a free community (often online or person) for people who feel like they’ve lost themselves in a relationship or have spent all their energy trying to 'fix' or please someone who didn't give that energy back. It’s just a place to learn how to set boundaries and find your own voice again.
You are so strong for getting through this on your own. Please take what you need from this and ignore the rest. I truly believe in you and your ability to heal