my bf was trying to not validate my feelings telling me that having a full time job is harder than going to school and work and we began to bicker than he raised his voice at me telling me im soft. when i would go to class mon- friday work mon-sun. he reallt hurt my feelings and now is acting like a victim. he never apologized and i staed quiet for the rest of tbe car ride before he dropped me off what hurt me the most is BRUNO MARS DROPPED HAHAHA and one of the songs he released reminded me of my ex and i knew he wouldve never done this to me.
Last updated on:2026-02-27T18:11:02+05:30
Comments (4)
when he raised his voice and then acted like the victim after, did that feel like a pattern or was this the first time?
u bf is gaslighting u feeling wtf soft bf who raise voice to gf is red flag u better tell her u feeling u hurt u don't like raise voice he need understand u need money and school for this economic if he respect love u he change if he keep do better break up sis u always tired hurt u deserve good bf understand respect u
i dated someone who constantly minimized my workload too. i was juggling school and two jobs and he’d say i was “dramatic.” then when i finally reacted, suddenly i was the problem. that “you’re soft” comment would’ve cut me deep too. it’s such a sneaky way to invalidate you and the no apology? that part HURTS.
Comparison is the thief of joy. You can't compare potatoes to tomatoes. Having a career and going to school are of similar fashion and everyone goes through it. You can't compare the two fairly. His career was a choice. School was mandatory. Both are hard and both have ups and downs. Acknowledging the middle ground is the key. But sitting in a relationship going, oh my ex wouldn't do this and my ex wouldn't have done this means you're carrying unresolved baggage around. This is a new person. Treat him like a new person who is held by the standards he sets around you. If you need to run comparisons than this relationship will fail. Your ex is your ex and your boyfriend is currently still your boyfriend. If your motives, mindsets and ideals do not align don't try to force it for it shall never align if forced. Think hard on what you want. Voice it. Let him voice what he wants. If you two can't meet in the middle you have your answer.