I accidentally deleted part of this so I’ll sum it up. Years ago I liked this girl let’s call her Sunny. We spent time together fooled around a bit and even fell asleep next to each other. The very next day I had to go overseas. While I was gone my friend confessed to her without knowing what had happened between us. At first she told him she was considering dating me but then she suddenly messaged me saying she was thinking about choosing him instead. After months of back and forth she ended up with him.
I stuck around hoping she’d turn to me. During that time she confided in me that he was verbally abusive saying awful things even blaming her for being assaulted. I was disgusted but I also saw it as a chance to step in. I comforted her held her kissed her everything I had wanted to do before. But soon after she told me she was going to keep trying with him. That’s when I told her I’d always be there to talk but I wasn’t going to be a placeholder anymore. Eventually they broke up. She moved on with someone else and after some drama in our old group she blocked me. That was two years ago and I thought I was over it.
Recently I ran into one of those old friends at a party. They apologized and asked if we had bad blood. I said no if people don’t want to be around me that’s fine but I don’t hold grudges. That’s when I found out Sunny’s current relationship isn’t going well and she’s being used for sex. Maybe it was hearing that or maybe it was the thought of someone putting in a good word for me but it stirred up old feelings.
Here’s the complication: I’m in a one‑year relationship now long‑distance. We met through a VR game and I even flew out to spend a few months with her. She’s sweet our interests line up and until recently I had no reason to think about anyone else. She wants to move here but it’ll take time. Physical affection is really important to me and knowing it’ll be years before she can move here makes things harder.
Now Sunny has been on my mind again even though I know some of what happened between us was manipulative though we were young and immature back then. I feel torn between my past with Sunny and my current long‑distance relationship. My girlfriend has done nothing wrong but I can’t shake these thoughts.
I know it’s messed up but I just need some comfort or at least an explanation for why I feel this way and what I can do to change it.
Last updated on:2026-02-27T21:20:05+05:30
Comments (4)
if Sunny texted you tomorrow, would you want her or would you want the validation of finally being chosen
when old feelings came back, it usually wasn’t about the person. it was about the version of the story that never got closure. add long distance and lack of physical affection on top of that, of course your brain is wandering.
sorry say sunny is not love u she not over ex . it's ok to think her since u love her she u first love. when u with u ldr gf do u heal first before date I hope u take time heal first so u not hurt u gf. go therapy journal u feel hope u can. move on heal move forward be with girl love care u
i’ve been the “i’ll always be there for you” person while she kept choosing the guy who treated her like trash. i told myself i was being loyal but honestly i was hoping she’d finally pick me. when she didn’t, it MESSED with my ego and my heart. hearing she wasn’t doing well later stirred everything back up too. it’s like unfinished business you never really buried