Body giving up
Dear Clark, My love, My Clark, My greatest heartache and greatest comfort, I don't know if this letter will ever find its way to you. I don't know if the universe will ever let you hear what I'm abo
All the posts by: phineasafm17
Quiet realizations
Dear Clark, Tonight feels strange, and maybe that's why I'm writing to you again. So many of my days recently have been filled with sadness, longing, grief, and this aching heaviness whenever I think
Letter to him
Dear Clark, Tonight, I lay here with another fever. My body feels weak again. The kind of weak that makes me realize how fragile I've become. I've been in and out of the hospital, and each time I lea
Journal
Dear Self, Today was one of those days that slipped by softly. No rush, no noise, no heavy plans. I finally followed my doctor's advice to rest, and for once, I actually did. I stayed inside my apart
What to do with all the hand written letters?
For people like me who have developed the habit of writing letters to their ex every day, what did you do with the letters after you realized you didn’t want to write for them anymore? Did you throw
If you only knew
Dear Clark, I dreamt about your friends last night. Not you, not directly. But somehow, you were still there, woven into everything like you always are. In the dream, Benj finally replied to my mess
Softness in missing him
Dear Clark, Today, I thought of you again. It feels like I start every letter this way, but it's true, you're always there, woven into my day in ways I can't ignore. But today, missing you came diffe
Letter #61: I LET MYSELF GRIEVE TONIGHT
Dear Clark, Tonight I let myself grieve. I stayed in the apartment all day and did the things that kept the machine of my life working in the quietest ways. None of it felt cinematic. It felt like th
Even in absence
Dear Clark, I know you'll ever read this but I'm writing this because I need to, because my heart has been holding onto so much that it can no longer carry silently. Yesterday, September 18, you bloc
Weight of seeing you again from afar
Dear Clark, Today brought me through a swirl of emotions I didn't quite see coming, and as I sit here tonight, I felt like I wanted to share it with you, even if only in the quiet of this letter. I
When my body gave up
Dear Clark, Tonight, I am writing this to you from a hospital bed. I never thought I would be saying that, but today, my body finally gave up on me. This morning, I volunteered again for the pantry.
If you were here tonight
Dear Clark, Today was another long day for me. I spent most of it volunteering again, this time assigned to handle the inventory of donations. I know you would have teased me for it, saying I was bei
Your sign found me today
Dear Clark, Today, I felt you near me again. I spent my morning planting trees as part of a volunteer activity. It was tiring, yes, but also beautiful. Each seedling I placed into the ground felt lik
Letter To Clark #44: September 3, 2025 - A DREAM I CANNOT HOLD
Dear Clark, I saw you again last night, not in person, but in a dream. The details have slipped away from me now but I know one thing with certainty: you were there. I woke up knowing I had seen your
Letter To Clark: Sept 2, 2025 - LITTLE VICTORIES, QUIET LONGINGS
Dear Clark, Today, I did something simple but, in my heart, it felt like a big step: I went grocery shopping. Maybe that sounds ordinary, but in this strange place where I am alone, it carried so muc
Letter To Clark: Sept 1, 2025 - YOU REMAIN, EVEN HERE
Dear Clark, It's September 1. A new month. A new chapter. I woke up today in a different place, far from everything we once knew together. My apartment is quiet. The silence wrapping around me like s
Letter To Clark #41: August 31, 2025 - MY FINAL GOODBYE
Dear Clark, Today, I said goodbye to my family and friends. They hugged me tightly, told me to take care, and reminded me that I am loved. Their goodbyes felt both heavy and comforting. But there was
A TABLE FOR TWO
Dear Clark, I dreamt of you again last night. This time, the memory slipped away too quickly. All I could remember was that we were eating together. I don't know what food it was, I don't know where
The Lighter Morning I Woke Up
Dear Clark, Today, I woke up thinking of you again. But something was different, lighter. Usually, mornings feel like punishment because they remind me that you are not here anymore. But today, when
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, Last night, I dreamt of you. You weren't beside me, and we weren't talking or touching or even together in the way I sometimes imagine in dreams. But I saw you driving, smiling. That same
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, It is August 27 today, and I am writing to you with a heart that feels strangely lighter than before. Two days ago, I finally told you everything I had been holding inside: every truth, e
Today is August 26
Today is August 26, and something inside me feels different. I think it comes from what happened last night. After holding it all in for weeks, after swallowing every unsaid word and burying every una
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, This is the letter I should have written long ago, but maybe I wasn't ready then. Maybe I kept holding on to the small hope that silence could fix us, that waiting could bring you back. B
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, Today is August 25. It has been exactly one month since you blocked me on Messenger, since you disconnected from Between and Love8, and since our little Arlo, our virtual baby, died with
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, Last night, I dreamed of you again. I don't remember all the details, but the part that stayed with me was simple, almost ordinary. We were out with my friends, sitting in a restaurant. Y
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, It has been one month. One whole month since you blocked me on Instagram, erased yourself from our shared playlist on Spotify, and unfollowed and removed me from TikTok. One month since y
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, I didn't cry today. I think that's worth saying first, because you know me, I've been crying for days, for weeks, for what feels like forever. The tears would come in waves, sometimes cat
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, This morning feels heavy. I didn't sleep well. I tossed, turned, woke up too early, and drifted back into shallow sleep. When I opened my eyes, you were the first thought on my mind. It's
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, I woke up restless, as if sleep itself refused to comfort me. Last night, I went to bed around 10:30 PM, the very time when we used to fall asleep together while on call. It's strange how
Dear Clark
Dear Clark, I cried three times today. And honestly, it feels like I've been crying for months now, even in moments when my eyes are dry. I can be smiling, talking, walking, and yet inside me the tea