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Finding so much loneliness

Finding so much loneliness...in fear mode...being tested for colon cancer. so many signs that there's most likely a mass..playing the waiting game and Mike not being there is the most difficult thing.

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day 57...saw him one month ago

day 57...saw him one month ago...in a toxic relationship so he's like a drug to me....I was doing really good this week but for some reason today he's been on my mind so much. the need to have someone