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how do I trust myself to make better standards?

I’m not sure why, but I went from missing her, sobbing every night and checking our messages to just thinking back at how little she gave me. like, I loved her so much - I wanted to marry her! but I

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I just don’t know how I didn’t see it

I just don’t know how I didn’t see it. - the whole time she told me she was trying to see if she could force herself to love me because I was a healthy option. she TRIED to make me feel loved but