As soon as my thoughts wander to the past, I force myself to think of ANYTHING related to my future. My work. My personal goals. My next trip. Even the day's To Do list.
Right now, Im treating this mental anguish as a game.
To look back, lose a point.
To look at today, the future, gain a point.
Right now, it's my competitive spirit, my Do or Die, which is carrying me forward.
And my grit that says this guy will not win.
He may have hurt me, but I will not be tired by that hurt.
It will only add a scar to my psyche that will benefit me in the future, to not be hurt by anyone like this man ever again.
He started the silent text treatment after I sent him a harsh but truthful text following his disgusting words, actions.
For these last 36 days, he has felt relief I am gone. He has been living life large, burying his emotions while I have been weathering my emotional storm.
But here's the kicker.
I am coming out from under, whereas he is only just beginning his torment.
Escaping only lives so long. You repress, those emotions will rebound with greater strength.
So, as I quietly see the horizon, a new breaking dawn, he is just entering his own typhoon.
Yes, he started all this hurt.
But I'll soon be free.
He is only just suffering.
And guess what?
This time, he will realize I am NOT THERE to hold his hand through the storm.
Last updated on:2026-04-03T21:57:44+05:30
Comments (3)
do you feel like thinking about his “karma” is helping you move forward, or is it still keeping him a bit present in your mind?
It's not so much about karma. It's about me acknowledging my pain, now, while he is repressing his, and in doing so, as I exit mine and be whole again, his will rebound with such fury. He will feel regret and guilt and shame and longing. I will be free.
i turned my healing into a game too just to survive the waves. i’d literally distract myself the second my mind went back to him, anything to not fall into that spiral again. it felt like winning tiny battles every day.