First time I’ve really fallen in love. Like real love. She taught me how to feel how to stop overthinking everything and just vibe with my emotions. I taught her how to open up accept love and be real with her feelings.
It was a wild ride sleepless night, so much pain but we helped each other grow. Sadly even though we worked through it all it just stopped working. Things were getting better but by the time it clicked I was drained. I still love her but I just can’t put in the effort she deserves anymore.
I know change takes time but every fight and mistake just drained me. I’ve gotten to the point where I just say okay and keep it moving. She’s the same now. Doesn’t believe in me anymore. The hope’s gone and the patience for calm communication is fading. Her sharp words just hit different now.
I know it’s not her fault it’s not mine either but I don’t think we can save this. She’s not the person I need and I’m not the guy she wants.
We thought we could still be friends but we kept the sexual side alive and it only made things worse.Now she’s out more drinking hanging with whoever and then it happened she slept with someone else. I know I don’t have a right to be mad but I was. I didn’t know what to do with the anger so I aimed it at her.
I didn’t get violent didn’t swear but I said things I knew would hurt. I acted like a damn kid. Even told her why I was acting that way and she understood but I still couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t know how to move forward.
I know I need to cut contact but every time I try I get hit with this sadness and anxiety that’s too much to handle. I’ve even wished she’d just block me (yeah I know weak) but she hasn’t.
She told me she’d give me space wouldn’t talk to me until Christmas. We had planned to be together since I’ll be alone and her family situation is tough. At the time it felt right. Now it feels wrong.
Today,I started having some really dark thoughts about myself. (For context I struggle with suicidal thoughts but I won’t act on them. I can’t do that to her it would ruin her.) That's why I don’t wanna share all this with her. Feels like I’d trap her.
Last updated on:2025-01-17T17:11:15+05:30
Comments (2)
can anyone show some love here hurt guy needs some compassion fr pretty pls
She blocked me outta nowhere and kicked me out of her life. I can't go anywhere without stressing about running into her. Quit the swim team cuz she joined and now I don’t even know how to act. Keep messing up and want to change tho. Music and my cat help me cope if you’ve got a pet try talking to them and just vibing. I have mental breakdowns every week mostly because of her. At homecoming I bailed on dancing with her after planning it for months and I still feel awful about it even though it’s been over months. I try to keep busy with gaming and stuff but I’m scared to go to the gym since she’s there a lot and lives nearby. Sometimes you just gotta let it all out and cry