yesterday my ex looked at my tik tok page, i don't know why he'd do that because I haven't posted anything since February, unless he saw that I accidentally looked at his page or he saw that I blocked him on instagram. i dont know how to feel about this. past-version of me would've been elated that some part of him still cares, but... im a little different now. how would y'all feel if your ex checked up on you?
Last updated on:2025-04-28T01:17:42+05:30
Comments (4)
I always thought if they check on me they love me. n vise versa. I always felt guilty if I stopped talking to them. n I would make an excuse and say we'll if I dont reach out or check up on them they will feel I don't love them or didn't ever care. n that's soooo far from the truth. truth is. I wanted to be in control. truth is I liked feeling like they wanted or needed me. today idc. love them and care for them still. crazy thing if they were calling and needed me I would genuinely be there but want no other thing from them but to be okay. alot of it was selfishness. I wanted to know how they were what they were doing and with who
I realize that wasn't healthy for me. I domt do social media at all. and if I did me n my ex aren't friends no way. we tried while in a relationship n I had to dead that years ago. n we never did the social stuff. I'm a bit much sometimes. if a person like every picture I mean every picture n u like all of there picture I assume some stuff. but I had to work on my insecurities no matter how it looked or what behaviors they were displaying to make me have these assumptions. my truth.
If it's of interest to you then it means some mischievous part of you still wants something to do with him or some kind of Closure. to yourself that you owe
idk dont really care anymore if they check my socials. I dont want them contacting me or getting into my space cos it would mean a lot of mindwork as an after effect.
Initially it would feel good like a validation but stop... but mostly about how they are feeling right now... maybe going through a low phase and feeling like ok let me check this and that and everything from the past... you know even we do it. I personally do that.