today it's been 18 days since i last had contact with him. i have so many different emotions that sometimes i feel like i’m about to go crazy. thoughts get tangled in my head and they don't want to stop. it never ends. i see him in every brunette guy i pass in the city and i don't know if i rather to see him again or i’m afraid to meet him. i start to blame myself for everything that happened and this thought makes my heart so terribly heavy. the only thing i dream about is him, taking me in arms, stroking my hair and whispering in my ear that everything will be fine. that he loves me. even if it would be a lie.
Last updated on:2025-09-01T07:09:02+05:30
Comments (6)
you’re living between wanting him back and fearing what it would feel like if he actually appeared. i did that too, stuck between hoping for comfort and dreading the pain it would bring.
that swirl of emotions, like my brain wouldn’t turn off. i used to picture him holding me again, even when i knew it wouldn’t happen. it made sense, i just missed feeling safe.
18 days felt like 18 years for me. i couldn’t walk outside without thinking every guy was him. i wanted him to show up and lie to me too, just so i could breathe for a second. i hated myself for wanting that.
well done on day 18! keep it up, journal, gym, dance, reset your nervous system (search it) when your feeling overwhelmed, you have to break the cycle in your mind. your only hurting yourself
I feel you and understand! 💔❤️
But you deserves one who stands up for you, one who knows you, one who will fight for you. ❤️
It's okay baby, me too. I'm here if it ever gets too heavy ❤️